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Preliminary results are in, and the quest to replace 'Douchebag' in our insult lexicon is going well — well, sort of. Despite all your helpful emails and comments, we're still looking for something with douchebag's je ne sais quoi. The way it trips off the tongue in two syllables is especially important, we've noticed, so that unfortunately eliminates all the choads, snatches, and pricks from the running to be America's Next Top Word That Means Douchebag. And extra points will be awarded if the epithet has douchebag's remarkable ability to be shortened (douche, d-bag) and lengthened (douchebaggery, douchebaguette, douche-o-matic, doucheology, etc). What we're getting at, dear twatwaffles, is that in spite of your Tourette's-y outbursts yesterday, we're still looking. Write or comment, and do it soon — we left the Balneol in the office lavatory, and let's just say that this is one busy household.

Earlier: Douches: Time to Bag It?