How are things going at Shock, Hachette Filapacchi's sophisticated periodical for the discerning consumer who likes to see photographic depictions of nameless Arabs getting blowed up? If the latest "media advisory" is any indication, uh, not so great. EIC Mike Hammer (whose job, we're guessing, mainly consists of saying, "Can we get a shot of Emmy Rossum that shows a little more ass cleavage, please?"), sent out the current sell sheet to pretty much everyone he's ever worked with, pretty much begging them to buy the thing:
Once again I find myself reaching out to all those who mean the most to me...and who I believe I can get away with the most. I'm enclosing a media advisory containing the latest information on the brand new issue of Shock. It's so exciting, that I had to change my underwear twice writing this paragraph alone!... Anywhosers, I would be deeply appreciative if you all were to find the time to peruse our fine fare. Also? Please pass this onto everyone you've ever met with the explicit instructions: "Buy the damn magazine, ya cheap bastards! It's only 2 freakin' bucks!
Consider it passed on, Mike! Full "advisory" after the jump.
To Hell and Back...With Pictures Galore!
December Issue of SHOCK Magazine Hits Newsstands This Week
WHAT: Shock magazine, the wild child of publishing company Hachette Filipacchi Media U.S., delivers the most fantastic and alarming photos from around the globe - and the December issue offers the most spectacular evidence yet.
Here's a preview of what readers can expect:
Breaking Views (p. 8): From shockingly virulent Anti-American protests in Iran to the All-American spectacle of the traditional rally at the University of Texas for the A&M game—the views are as spectacularly different as they are spectacular.
Hard News: A terrifying glimpse inside Brazilian prisons where the inmates have overrun the asylums (p. 18); a look at some of the horrors child laborers face in third world countries AND the United States (p. 37), and the new war in Afghanistan—over drugs (p. 26).
The Story Behind the Photo (p. 42): A frame-by-frame breakdown of the strange and convoluted history of the notorious Zapruder film that documents the death of JFK.
Science (p. 45): Dr. Hiroshi Ishiguro of Japan used moldings of his own body to create a lifelike clone of himself. We were hoping for Keira Knightly...but this is still pretty cool.
Sports (p. 56): An extreme American athlete with a kayak and an apparent death wish takes an eight-story plunge off a Costa Rican waterfall...and survives. We've got the pictures to prove it. We're totally telling his mom.
PHOTO CONTESTS: Shock Us and Win $10,000! Every week, Shock is giving away $250 to the college student that submits the craziest campus photo. The sickest shot of the semester will win a grand prize of $10,000 along with a spot in a future issue of Shock. This contest runs through November 19. Check out shockcampus.com for more details.
Show Us Your Athletic Supporters! Students can send Shock their craziest college fan pics and score a pair of tickets to a BCS bowl game. This contest runs through October 30. For more information, visit shocku.com.
About Shock and Hachette Filipacchi Media U.S.
Shock offers readers the most compelling images from around the world in an eye-popping format never before seen in the publishing industry and captures the spontaneity of life through images from the world of sports, politics, nature and Hollywood. The random, the off-beat and the bizarre are featured in Shock - a new media category that will change the landscape of popular culture.
Wow! Hard news!