Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Multiple Celebrities Scarred By Sight Of Naked, Obese Kazakh TV Producer

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, which we try to post several times per week—so be sure to send them in as often as possible. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the everyone know about the time you spotted Dustin "Dirty Sanchez" Diamond putting Prius-riding pussies to shame by lugging his bicycle onto the LA Metro.

In today's episode: Nicole Kidman; Geoffrey Rush and Kim Richards; Leonardo DiCaprio; Frankie Muniz; Robin Williams; Mary-Kate Olsen; Owen Wilson; Robert Downey Jr.; Jeremy Piven; Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson and Ken Paves; Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton; Neil Patrick Harris; Marcia Cross; Bryce Dallas Howard; Timothy Olyphant and Glen Frey; Dustin "Screech" Diamond; Dennis Rodman; Henry Rollins; Janice Dickinson; Brandon Davis and Fred Stolle; Ian Ziering and Dan Butler.

· I was at that [ed. note: 11-5, Century City, Jeffrey Katzenberg-attended Borat screening] show as well. And so was Nicole Kidman, escorted by an unidentified young lady (assistant? friend? child? rumors flew), and a large security guard. Couldn't see whether she took part in the Apocalypto booing though.

· Leaving a matinee screening of Borat at the Vista Theater on Sunday (11/5), my girlfriend spots aging thespian Geoffrey Rush walking next to us. After informing her I was unfamiliar with his work, she says he was in Shine and Quills. I admitted to her that I fast-forwarded thru Quills only to see yet another heapin' helpin' of Kate Winslet's ample bosoms.

Later that night, at the Hollywood Bowl enjoying former rock gods and remaining Who members blast out their quality catalog of oldies staples, spotted Escape to Witch Mountain/Hello, Larry/Tuff Turf/early masturbation fantasy, Kim Richards. She still looked pretty good, but it disturbs me to think she is the aunt of Paris Hilton.

· The AMC Century City must be THE place to be to catch celebrities lining up like the rest of us plebians to watch BORAT. First the Jeffrey Katzenberg sighting, then my encounter with Frankie Muniz at the 12:15 AM show on Saturday night (11/4).

While the rest of the sold-out crowd had to stand like cattle waiting to get in, Frankie was allowed to sit on the bench in front of the theater and go in first (no doubt due to some prior arrangement with theater management). He struck up a conversation with the guy next to him and became very animated, wildly gesticulating with his hands all over the place. He also appeared to be alone.

As we entered the theater and sat down, my friend and I found ourselves sitting in the front row of the stadium seating next to Frankie and a male companion with an empty seat in between us. In the 20 minutes before the movie started, several people came up to Frankie and asked him to move over one seat to make two empties next to each other and allow friends to sit together (a standard custom). Frankie, however, was intent on putting his feet up on the security bar in front of him and refused to switch seats. Or not so much refused as signaled his companion, who nastily waved off the offenders as Frankie stared ahead, refusing to acknowledge their presence and looking pissed off that they would even make such a request of him, oh heralded star of AGENT CODY BANKS 2.

· Comic legends also find homoerotic grappling funny. Though, really, why wouldn't they?

At the 10:05 Friday night showing of Borat in Century City, Robin Williams got in line with the rest of us waiting to be let into the theater. He was standing directly behind our group of four, and you probably wouldn't have noticed him if not for the AMC heavy standing conspicuously next to him (and by "next to" I mean three feet away and directly in the middle of the hallway) holding a walkie-talkie in a Very Important way. He and the friend (or agent or manager or lackey) he was with sat directly behind us and word must have spread that he was in the audience, as when the commercial for Comic Relief 2006 ran, the place erupted in applause. The clapping was significantly more muted and slightly more embarrassed when the trailer for Night at the Museum came on. Anyway, his favorite part also seemed to be the homoerotic grappling. Brother lost his shit.

· Last night (11/5), while waiting for the 10:25pm showing of Borat, I saw the formerly anorexic/currently college dropout half of the billionaire twins—Mary-Kate Olsen—at the AMC theatre on Van Ness in San Francisco [ed. note: Typically we only accept LA sightings, but we got caught up in the Borat-sighting excitement and made an exception]. Dressed in all black, with a hoodie covering her head and 4" platforms, she walked past the ticket holders' line twice. MK looked surprisingly like a normal-ish, angsty teenager with reddish hair and lots of black eyeliner. Because we don't get that many celebs through here, this sighting made a bunch of hipsters pretty giddy. Welcome home, Michelle Tanner!

· I saw Leo DiCaprio Wednesday night at the new pinkberry on Melrose and LaBrea. I kept staring at this gorgeous- then finally realized who she was with. She was probably a model- but definitely no Giselle.

· 10:30pm Monday night. In the produce aisle of the newly remodeled Pavillions on Montana, I saw Owen Wilson loitering in the produce aisle. He didn't have a basket or a cart and was wearing a poofy vest. He is not as tall as I thought he would be, but he's pretty sexy in a goofy and blond way.

· A diminutive but surprisingly stocky-looking Robert Downey Jr. (bulking up for Iron Man?) waiting in the valet line at THR's Next Gen party (11/7) at don't-call-it-Dublin's Sunset Beach. I assume he was there because his wife Susan was one of the honorees, but he was low-pro, probably trying not to steal her thunder. He left early, just like I did, before the junior agents could get drunk enough to start rambling about how they're going to own this town.

· Halloween night at about 11 pm saw jeremy Piven driving up Crescent Heights in his grey Range Rover with 2 friends. Traffic was stopped and I looked cute, and he yelled hi when I crossed in front of him. So, being a few drinks in, I promptly ran to his car and started gushing how much i love him, blah, blah. How embarrassing ... i was a little tipsy and in a Trashy Lingerie Nurse outfit. All that being said, he was very sweet and told my friend to make sure I got home safe. Good sprt, nice guy. Yay Piven!

· Jessica simpson, ashlee simpson, jessica's hair guru ken paves, and a few other randoms at birds in los feliz last night. Ashlee sure had to go to the bathroom a lot...

· I saw new couple Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz along with two mystery men and one woman with a power mullet at the Jamie Lidell show 11/1 at Safari Sams. They sat at the table next to me and my man in the balcony and were clearly trying to remain low key.

· this week i saw the impeccably-dressed Ms Julia Louis-Dreyfus shopping for antiques at vintageweave across from the Grove. She is quite petite and has I don't know who that girl's facialist/dermatoligist is, but she has the best skin. Smiled at me as I gawked at her, while I shopped longer than I needed to just to muster up the courage to tell her that when I'm down I only need to think of Elaine dancing and I turn that frown upside down! Instead I left her alone because everyone else in the store did.

· Got into Teddy's on the 26th. Lame, pretentious and of course Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were there. I damn near got a contact high from all the weed that someone was smoking. Could have been them, I didn't see. I sure as hell smelled it though. Ew.

· Saw Lindsay Lohan today (11/01) at around 4:10 pm on Robertson Blvd. in West Hollywood. She was walking past Ken Paves' new salon and into a business called Byron that is in the buliding next door on the upper level. She was with another gal i didn't recognize, but there were photogs everywhere. The reason I even noticed her is bcuz the car in front of me was a paparazzo and he stopped traffic in the middle of Robertson to take her pic.

· 11-2 Well Neil Patrick Harris most certainly IS of that persuasion. Last week I attended an art reception for Tom Friedman at the Gagosian Gallery in Beverly Hills and he was there. He was with two other young, lovely men who seemed to be of the same persuasion. Neil is tall and has a glowing complexion and a seriously gay look, but with an intellectual leaning. At one point in the evening I emerged from the gallery in the back of the room and he was standing right at the entrance with his boys and he glared at me in some sort of you're-OK-in-my-book-for-a-girl sort of way. Wish I was a cute gay boy.

· 11/6- I was eating at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in the Pacific Design Center when Marcia Cross and a friend came in for lunch. Marcia looked very pregnant wearing a huge grey top which wasn't a great color on her but her skin is perfection! I swear her parents must have never let out of the house as child. Her lunch companion's skin on the otherhand looked like it had been stretched over his skull one too many times. Marcia certainly doesn't look her age and is rockin' the radiant pregnant woman look!

· I wanted to be bitchy because it's so much more fun, but I guess it depends upon who you run into. Anyhoo, last Thursday I was dining at Hugo's in West Hollywood when I happened to notice BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD dining with a slightly older gentleman. Their conversation seemed very cordial and Bryce was just having a fun time talking in low tones like a normal person instead of like the typical fame whore who is starved for attention. At the end of their meal the pair laughed loudly about something and then took their leave. Bryce looked amazing! I wish that she could just stay eternally pregnant because the glow she had was remarkable. Truly the people's princess!

· So I'm going down in the city's slowest elevator after an incredibly thorough physical exam from my doc (should he be lighting up a cigarette when he finishes?) when a mom, 2 very vocal children and a beleaguered dad get on. Well who should the poor guy turn out to be but Sheriff Seth Bullock himself (Timothy Olyphant) of #$@!&% Deadwood fame. I was a huge fan of the show and was quite dismayed to see that he looked an awful lot like *gasp* Ryan Seacrest?! About 2 hours later, I'm in American Apparel in Westwood trying not to stare at the seemingly barely pubescent, tarted-up employees, when I notice that the (former) Eagle has landed: ladies and gentlemen, Glen Frey was in the house and he was shopping with his tween-ish daughter. He looked pretty good actually and it was nice to see him helping his little girl shop. But don't think I didn't notice him checking out the help as well...

· Anyway, as a native New Yorker, I don't know how to drive, and so I took the train in from the airport - Green Line to the Blue Line to the Red Line. On the Blue Line, who got on wheeling a bicycle but Dustin "Screech" Diamond. He had sunglasses on - so he wouldn't get mobbed by fans I guess - and he was with a woman. Happily, he refrained from Dirty Sanchezing her right then and there on the train.

· So I'm at the West Hollywood gay dance club Rage shaking my bon bon on Wednesday night, Nov. 1, around midnight, when I notice a tall black guy with bleached hair towering above the little latin cholitos (as I'm sure all your readers know, Weds night at Rage is latin-flavored "Club Fuego"). I take a closer look, and see those earrings, nose rings, lip rings...yes, it's Dennis Rodman, dancing with two skanky lookin groupie type females. Weirdest celebrity sighting yet!

· I saw Henry Rollins at the Trader Joe's in WeHo on Santa Monica last Saturday. He was really hot with gray hair...seemingly lost and I wanted to direct him to the vegan foods he was craving. Actually, I was there buying assloads of booze for a friend's going away party (Why do people leave LA for cold places? I don't get it). I wanted her to invite him to the party (NOTHING to lose since she's leaving SoCal), but from what I recall in high school, Henry doesn't drink. Yeah, we chickened out.

· Saw the self proclaimed world's First Supermodel, Janice Dickinson, on Saturday Nov 4 at the original Pinkberry in West Hollywood. She had a very large personality for such a small space. She was definitely giving off a Little Edie Beale vibe- i guess it's a fine line between supermodel and crazy...

· Saw Brandon "Greasiest Man On The Planet" Davis at the Farmer's Market on Saturday night. How can one man be so oily? I could wake up after sleeping for 3 days straight and not excude the slime coming from him. Is it drugs? Neurotic sweating? A talent? A curse? He slid right past us as I explained to my friends that he was the class-act caught screaming "Lohan is a fire crotch" on tape.

Also saw comedian/actor/Dr. Katz favorite Fred Stoller. Not sure if he counts.

· thursday, nov. 2
spotted ian ziering aka steve sanders of 90210 fame at the griddle. the man has aged well. never thought he was that cute on the show (i was a brandon girl), but he looks kinda hot in person. we ended up taking his booth after he left (was dining with another guy). his credit card receipt was still on the table. he tipped $5 on $31. being a server myself, i thought that was kinda lame, but i also always get annoyed when i know people have money and they don't tip outrageously. seriously, he's still getting residuals! that show is running on the WE or some shit, soap opera channel, i don't know. spread the love, steve. it's like the time i waited on missy elliot & her entourage...some douchebag walked up with missy's gold credit card, paid, and left me no tip. note to celebrities (missy, listen up)—if your bling costs more than my car, you'd better tip me well! um anyway, go steve sanders!

· Dan Butler ('Bulldog' was his name, i think, on Frazier)(and one of the first Hollywood TV actors to come out!) is a poll worker in Silver Lake! I handed him my filled-out ballot! Awright!