Joe Dolce Wishes He Was Jane Pratt

Quoth poor Joe Dolce: " I have to absorb the fierce opinions of more than 62 staffers — even when I really don't feel like hearing about them!" So yeah, he doesn't want to hear his staff's deep thoughts, but he has "decided to share these gems with you" because you so totally do, right? Especially when those thoughts are as genius as copy chief Angela Watford's. She's right: Brad Pitt IS hot! (Whoa, fierce!)
Dear Joe: you asked us to let us know our thoughts about this new feature without holding back ("I know you won't!") so here they are. No. Stop it. We read your magazine for the pictures of the hole in Pamela Anderson's weave, not the words. We don't care what your staffers look like, and we don't want to read canned quotes popping out of their photoshopped mouths. Drawing the curtain aside and revealing the little elves behind the analysis of Tori Spelling's cellulite is like watching sausage being made: you don't really want to know, and also, it's boring. Also, more 'knifestyles' please. Thanks!

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Joe Dolce