Lies Well Disguised: AIDS Ads Make Me So Horny.

Isn't AIDS advertising so fucking sexy? It is the hippest, hautest disease advertising in the world. And African children with AIDS advertising? O. M. G. So. Fucking. Hot. Gwynnie. Heidi. Penelope. Bowie. Stingy. The sexiest of the coolest A+ celebs are all over that shit like the white on the rice that African children with AIDS don't have to eat.

They also don't have shoes to wear. Which is kinda funny, because one of leading appropriators advertisers of the super-sexy Youth AIDS cause is Canadian shoe peddler Aldo Bensadoun. Aldo and crappy NYC fashion ad agency Kraftworks recruited a couple dozen of the only sexiest stars (plus the Madden brothers) and shot them in proverbial See/Hear/Speak No Evil poses—poses that had observers of the billboards thinking some evil BDSM thoughts.

Lies Well Disguised: AIDS Ads Make Me So Horny.

It's your hot submissives Charlize and Elijah, securely tied up with red AIDS ribbon. Notice how the cool shiny silver duct tape perfectly matches their "empowerment" dog tags. Kraftworks president Neil Kraft said he was worried "whether any celebrity would actually agree to conceal their distinguishing facial characteristics for an ad campaign." Ad Guys! Always looking at the big pic! Anyway, Frodo seems a bit apprehensive (that's HOT!) about his imminent facial cock-slapping, while Theron looks like it's just another session in the dungeon for her. Any bi-Doms/Dommes read Gawker? You're welcome.

But let us not forget this very important campaign's not very well executed message: Kids? AIDS=EVIL. So make sure you wear those sexy-ass dog tags the next time you have sex. Also, probably a condom.

Lies Well Disguised: AIDS Ads Make Me So Horny.

"OK Christie. Next, Downward Facing Dog, Hold the pose, I'm just gonna grab some duct tape..."

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a Big Fat Lie. Advertising copywriter copyranter brings you instances of Ad Lies and the Lying Liars who sell them.