Amy Sohn Wins the Game of Life, OKAY???

Rubbing your success in people's faces without being tacky about it is always a tricky proposition. If you try too hard to flaunt your wellbeing, you might come across as braggy — or, god forbid, it might seem like you're overcompensating, or being pettily vindictive. So a subtle approach is probably best, especially if you're trying to make sure that, say, an ex best friend knows that you've succeeded where she has failed. A subtle approach like, say, a magazine column.

In this month's installment of New York's former Dating, then Mating, now Breeding columnist Amy Sohn's lifestruggle, our heroine runs into her ex-bestie in the playground:

Sandbox. Three o'clock."

[Amy's prized HUSBAND] wouldn't turn. "Why are you even thinking about her?" he said. "You're here with your husband and beautiful daughter."

"I can't help it," I said. "She totally traumatized me. She dumped me."

Hmm, wonder why! Do you think we're about to find out, maybe?
"So what? She's a bitch," he said. Men have a way of saying bitch that can totally brighten your day.

I craned my neck to see if she had gotten fat, or old, but her sturdy husband was blocking her entirely. She was a blank slate. And so I went to the darkest place.

I felt like I had nothing in life, as if she, not I, was the fulfilled mother in the playground with her hot husband and cute daughter and I was a spinster thirtysomething, trudging a walk of shame.

Yeah, Amy, that barren-wombed spinster — she's the bitch. Boy, good thing only the totally awesome genes and sterling values of really wonderful people like Amy Sohn are the ones getting passed on to the next generation, huh?

Breeding: A New Mom Confronts Her Ex Best Friend and Very Last Guy [New York]