Dustin Diamond Sex Tape Reviewed; Verdict: Save Your Money

Glory-hole-inspecting sister site Fleshbot has selflessly subjected itself to the crimes against amateur celebrity pornography committed by opportunistic former Saved by the Bell star Dustin Diamond by reviewing Screeched, the "stolen" sex tape in which the actor supposedly lures a pair of stray bachelorette party revelers back to his motel room for an erotic adventure involving a bubble bath and the lighthearted defilement of a luck lady's upper lip with the feces of career-reviving desperation. The verdict? Unsurprisingly, the product is a letdown:

Shot in very poor P.O.V. style, "Screeched" features too many shots of Diamond's face. It is a plus, though, that the banter seems real and that the bachelorette party, getting consistently drunker, appears nevertheless to be doing this of their own volition.

And that hyped Dirty Sanchez comes as something of an anticlimax. There is a lip. There is poo. Apparently "Bro" offers points for that sort of thing.

Based on this expert assessment (the full review is here), we recommend that our readers pass on the crushing disappointment that is Screeched, and instead populate their degrading Saved by the Bell-based sexual fantasies with any of Diamond's former Saturday morning co-stars, who undoubtedly would have been able to use their superior acting talents to properly sell a climactic Dirty Sanchez.