Meet Jackson Pollis: Cousin Oliver to the MisShapes' Brady Bunch

Look, the MisShapes aren't dumb, okay? They know that part (ok, all) of their ability to maintain the notoriety that enables them nail down lucrative licensing deals like those uber-hip Eastsport ads lies in keeping people like us hating on them all the time. Our hatred fans the flame! We're part of the problem! But, not being dummies, they also know that the blaahhhgosphere is getting tired of trotting out all those lame-ass Princess Coldstare one-liners. Like a tv sitcom with flagging ratings, they figured that introducing a new character would help maintain people's interest. Hence: "It Boy" Jackson Pollis, the blonde DJ who wears those glasses to look more like Mark Ruffalo's character in Eternal Sunshine (really!) and who drops wisdom-nugs like "Part of the reason why I think people may find me interesting is because the age part is very mysterious," and "Growing up in Williamsburg, you really have to love art or film or music." Also, "'I'm like his number one fan,' says Ultragrrrl."

Oooh, we are trying to be contrarian and NOT hate him because it's what they want . . . but we are powerless to resist the forcefield of his douchery. You win again, MisShapes! Damn you, damn you!

Action Jackson
[Village Voice]