Today we learn that Kendra Jade, the porno lady who once boned recent Britney Spears castoff Kevin Federline, is, like Brit-Brit herself, a mistress of the fine art of verse. Boy, that guy sure has a type, right? Poetry-writing chicks! That's his type! Anyway, we know from all of your comments about our grammar and spelling errors that you Gawker readers consider yourselves extremely well-qualified judges of literary merit. So we hope you'll help us decide whether Kendra or Britney hath the more fluent pen.
** For the one that got away ***
Dandelions grew like sunflowers
Tall and proud in the summer dirt
They danced upon the wind,
Bodies gracefully intertwined
Without a care
I remember only that you wore that God-Awful denim jacket
And too much Drakkar
I wore a solitary tear
You proclaimed that you would no longer participate in my
Did you think I was unhappy on purpose?!
A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.
I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.
I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.
A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.
Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.
Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!
As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!
We're leaning towards Brit. Rhymin's hard, y'all!