Lohan's Publicist Cross With Media For Being Baffled By Her Client's Blackberried Altman Eulogy

Leslie Sloane Zelnick, crisis-managing protector of some of Hollywood's hottest, most profoundly troubled and image-impaired stars, has cordially invited those media outlets who uncharitably mocked client Lindsay Lohan's epically impenetrable, rambling, hastily Blackberried (we guessed Sidekick, which is close enough for our purposes) eulogy for Robert Altman to kiss her flacktastic posterior:

"When I got the reports that he had died, I reached Lindsay on her cell phone, and she had no idea. She was devastated. She started crying," Sloane told Reuters. "She quickly put something together on her Blackberry."

"Here was a girl who found something special in this man that she felt so close to," Sloane said. "And she was completely shocked and blown away that he just died. It was written very quickly and it was from the heart." [....]

"Its enough already," she said. "Everybody has got to get a life. People need to get off her back."

It seems to us that Zelnick's lashing out might be a case of displaced anger, as much of the mockery could have been avoided if the publicist had said, "You know what? You're still in shock, why don't you let me draft a brief statement expressing your condolences?" instead of, "Hey, it's a little crazy over here right now. Would you mind tapping something out on the Blackberry thingy while the pain is still fresh? And would you mind throwing in a part that might allude to your possible involvement in a 12-step program? You know, the fearless moral inventory stuff? I think we need to prepare people for the sobering-up story we're gonna get into Page Six next week. Thanks, honey!"