This Morning In Jackson Pollis Rumors

We feel a little bit bad about spreading all of these mean rumors about floppy-haired new MisShape Jackson Pollis — hell, we did some retarded things when we were 17, too! Well, not DJing-retarded, but still. But then we think about the money the 'Shapes are getting from their backpack endorsement deals etc and it makes us want to share with you that:

The kid is crazy young. He used to play drums in a family band with his brother — called James Pollis Band. The lead singer has a lisp, what's not to enjoy?'
'He just recently turned 17'
'Early this spring, Pollis Sr. asked if we knew about 'MisShapes', and went on to relish the fact that his teenage son was hanging out with Leigh: "Have you SEEN her? She's hot. He stays over at her place" My friend and I found this hilarious beacuse, well, because gayness is sort of a Poliis thing...and as LNP has broadly documented, Leigh was not the particular MisShapes flavor young Pollis was after.'
'He only recently became cool'
'He has weird nipples'
Oh, do keep sending them in!

Earlier: MisShapes 'It Boy' Lying About His Age on Myspace?!!?