Gawker's Holiday Tipping Guide

This week's New York is chock full of handy suggestions for the amount New Yorkers should tip the various service types they encounter on a daily basis. But we couldn't help noticing that the list skews a little upper class in its recipients (doorman, personal trainer, nanny, etc.). After the jump Gawker offers some suggestions for those of us who don't have to worry about tipping the guy who garages our Beemer.

  • Crazy Homeless Guy At Your Subway Stop: It's the holidays, let your favorite ranting wino know how much you appreciate his calumnies against "the coloreds" and his constant reminders that "you got a hot ass."
    Suggested tip: Go for a pint of the good vodka. Christmas comes but once a year.
  • Starbucks barista: It's hard, sweaty work pulling a lever to dispense $2.50 worth of acrid coffee. Show them that you feel it.
    Suggested tip: Whatever change you have left after being raped by a massive corporation for a cup of caffeine.
  • Lady at the Laundry who Does Your Wash-and-Fold: You ever notice how this woman, despite her limited English and the fact that she toils at what has to be one of the least mentally rewarding tasks in town, always gives you a smile when you drop off or pick up? What does she know that you don't?
    Suggested tip: Smile back, you surly motherfucker. Other gifts are dicey and probably mean something completely different in her culture than what you intend. Just be friendly, okay?
  • Your Drug Dealer: Drug dealers celebrate the holidays too, you know? But what can you give a guy who already has everything (i.e., drugs)?
    Suggested tip: For the holiday season, give the guy a break and stop pretending that you want him to sit and chat or blow a line with him. He knows you want him out of your house as quickly as possible. He feels the same way.
  • Mailman: Assuming you know and see your mailman, and your service is relatively decent, it's customary to give something to your letter carrier.
    Suggested tip: All mailmen are alcoholics. Wouldn't you be? Get this guy liquor. Do not under any circumstances give anything associated with firearms.
  • Angry Cabdriver Who Grudgingly Agrees To Take You To Brooklyn Only After Repeated Entreaties and the Assurance That There Are No Black People Traveling With You: Fuck this guy.
    Suggested tip: Seriously, fuck this guy.

    [Image via]

    The Tipping Pointer [NYM]