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In today's episode: James Woods; Sharon Stone and Nelly; Jason Davis; Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner; Reese Witherspoon, Greg Kinnear, David Spade, Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O'Connell; Cuba Gooding Jr.; Kevin Nealon; Tom Arnold; Breckin Meyer and Catherine O'Hara; Edward Norton; Dylan Walsh; Chris Rock; Paris Hilton; Stephen Dorff, Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Garlin; Jason Alexander, Robert Forster and Ron Jeremy; Bryan Singer, Sarah Silverman and Jeffrey Ross; Bryce Dallas Howard; Adam Brody and Ashlee Simpson; Justin Long; Randy Quaid; Benjamin Mackenzie and Monica Keena; Joel Michaely; Camryn Manheim and Jennifer Love Hewitt; Jeanne Tripplehorn; will.i.am; Eddie Steeples; Joel Grey; Jay Manuel; Kristin Cavallari; Lukas Rossi and Lauren Conrad.
· Sharon Stone at a corner booth at the Polo Lounge Saturday night, Dec. 2. having an intense conversation with Nelly the rapper.
Also earlier in the day saw James Woods with a very young blonde girl who did not look a day over 19. Who knows, could be his niece? As we were leaving, saw Jason Davis strolling in alone. Guess he didn't have any luck getting in anywhere else.
· Saturday (12/2) having dinner at Capo in Santa Monica. Who should come in and sit at the 4-top next to us but Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. They sat on adjacent sides of the table, facing out into the room. Both looked great - Ben had about a week's worth of beard, Jen was in a hot little black dress. Ben talked a lot and touched Jen's arm a lot. Dude's tall. They ate their meals, split a half-bottle of wine (?!) and left without fanfare.
· On Saturday night 12/2 I attended the Hollygrove Orphanage Holiday Party. It was a starstudded event at an under the radar restaurant in Santa Monica on PCH called the Brass Cap. Reese Witherspoon looked beautifully single all in black with slick straight hair and spent the evening talking to many and I distinctly heard her commenting multiple times on the benefits of the organization. Also there, was Catherine O'Hara with her husband who was chatting up Cuba Gooding Jr., Kevin Nealon, Jerry O'Connell introducing very loudly his FIANCE Rebecca Romijn, Tom Arnold and David Spade who both seem to have the same drinking problem (addiction to Diet Cokes), Breckin Meyer and a pretty woman I assume to be his wife who spent a lot of time with Reese. Greg Kinnear was flying solo and making the rounds around the room with the jam packed countless number of Hollywood players. Catherine and Cuba seemed a bit tipsy at the end but they also seemed like they were having the best time. Cuba must be one of the nicest guys in the Hollywood, talking to everyone equally including the bartender and hot staff, commenting on his being the only brother in the room as well as the fact that he was a happily married man with three kids. While almost everyone was silent during the speech about the kids at the orphanage there were some exceptions namely: Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca, and Tom Arnold who hanging at the bar got some nasty looks from everyone else in the room trying to get them to shut up.
· Saw the awesome Edward Norton having breakfast Monday morning at BLD on Beverly with a Salma Hayek type. Looked great, if tired
· Thursday night, 11/30, Dylan Walsh at Buddha's Belly on Beverly. He was sitting at the bar, waiting to be seated for dinner with a couple (male) friends. Every head turned when he entered the restaurant.
Friday morning, 12/1, Chris Rock walking through the Farmer's Market at the Grove. He was by himself, talking on his cell phone.
· Saturday afternoon, 12/2, Paris Hilton at Kitson. Does she ever shop anywhere else?! She had on sunglasses, a baseball cap and talked on her cell phone non-stop. There were paparazzi crowding the entrance and at least 20 tourists standing on the sidewalk, pressed up against the windows, desperate for a sighting.
· Friday night (12/1) at the John Waters Christmas Special at Royce Hall: Stephen Dorff walked in ahead of me with a gal who was almost a foot taller than he (which isn't saying much; that guy is short!). Also: Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Garlin.
· Thursday Night (11/30) the side room @ Nobu in Malibu was a veritable cavalcade of stars... Cindy Crawford & Randy Gerber, Marla Maples, Steven Dorff with a hot brunette, and a very pregnant Brooke Burke and David Charvet.
· Spotted at the Grove on 11/22/06 — how's this for a triumvirate:
— Jason Alexander
— Robert Forster
— Porn star Ron Jeremy
· Monday, December 4, at 2pm- Bryan Singer (sans boys!) at Hugos in West Hollywood
Monday, December 4 at 2pm- The beautiful Sarah Silverman and a slovenly Jeffrey Ross lunching together at Hugos in West Hollywood.
· My first time at Pinkberry ever (yes, I know, I'm a couple years behind) and I'm enjoying my fruit-addled yogurt. I'm facing the wall and my buddy says something along the lines of: "look at that pregnant chick, she's wearing all these designer clothes...why?"
Before I could question his sexuality for noticing her attire, I turn around to see redhead-turned-blondie BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD (back to her redhead self again). This Lady's Water has definitely not broken yet, as she was looking BIG, but ready to pop. I wouldn't necessarily say she had the "knocked up glow" going on, but she certainly wasn't looking bad. Anyway, she got TWO large cups of pinkberry with all sorts of fruit on it and carried both gigantic tubs of yogurt out of the WeHo location herself. Gwen Stacy was always hotter than Mary Jane, if you ask me.
· Saturday night, 12/2 - I saw Adam Brody's band Big Japan play before Ima Robot at the Viper Room. Ashlee Simpson showed up with some girlfriends and sat down in the back with Brody and his friends. I was told that Kristen Cavallari of "the real O.C." was also present, but the place was so full of identical, cheesy-looking blondes that I could not pick her out of the pack. In case you care, Brody is actually a pretty damn good drummer, but the band played very generic, forgettable rock. The blondes could not get enough, while Ashlee sat in the back and talked during their set.
· Sunday afternoon, around 4:00 PM, Farmer's Market at 3rd and Fairfax, between Loteria and French Crepe Co.: Spotted Justin Long ("Mac," or, as I remember him, the guy who stood next to Van Wilder in "Waiting" and the guy who propped up the Unsinkable Lindsay Lohan in "Herbie: Fully Loaded") eating mexican food with a guy in a fedora. Justin looked shaggy (longer hair and facial hair; not the clean cut white boy he normally looks like) and he seemed jovial. The two shook hands at one point but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Perhaps this was Microsoft's attempt to lure him to the dark side.
· Thursday, 11/30 Passing by Vendome Liquor on Olympic in Beverly Hills around 3pm, I decided to go in and do some Christmas shopping for myself, as I was in no hurry. I had just entered and was trying to decide which spirit aisle to strike first when in walks Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid), all 7 and a half feet of him. Seriously, this guy is TALL. I probably wouldn't have given him a second look and made the positive Quaid I.D. if he wasn't so tall. I'm six feet tall and I don't think I even came up to his shoulder. Anyway, he gets right down to business. He asks the semi star struck cashier if he can do lottery in his register lane, (there are two lanes), he says no, use the other check out lane. Mr. Quaid gets in line. The cashier continues in a i'm your buddy kinda voice, "How's your golf game?" Mr. Quaid responds with a total shutdown of, "I don't play anymore," to which the cashier replies, "Well, I sure loved you in that movie where you played golf." Mr. Quaid smiles and nods, then turns away, i.e. thanks, but leave me alone. The cashier continues, "Well, you sure look like you're in good shape, have you lost weight?" No response as Mr. Quaid reaches the front of the line and produces a fist full of Lotto tickets. My view was partially blocked, but I would say no less than five, no more than ten. This new cashier doesn't recognize him. He scans all the tickets, I guess to see if any of them were winners, (I don't play), then he buys a whole bunch more. I watch him pay and exit, I'm thinking, maybe he's down and out and looking for a break playing the lottery. I walk to the door to see if he's driving a shitty car. His shitty car is a very shiny new one of those silver Mercedes Box SUV's.
· On Wednesday morning, I saw Monica Keena and Benjamin Mackenzie from The OC at Bhava Salon on Melrose. Also, Joel Michaely at Hamburger Mary's with a couple of hot actressy looking blondes. And then Camryn Manheim and Jennifer Love Hewitt at Universal, but that's not weird because they work there.
· On Saturday: Jeanne Tripplehorn at the H&M in the Beverly Center, looking absolutely breathtaking.
· 12/1 I just met will.i.am (looking how he always does with a hat on) at the Armani Boutique in BH where there was a DJ and free pomegranate martinis. I went up and told him my sister loved his band and had given me a CD with one of their songs on it. He asked which one, I said I don't know, and I sang a line from the song. He said, "Don't Funk with my Heart!" and I said I love the beginning of the song. He said tell your sister "what's up!" He was very low key and approachable, and said he was there to get his RED shirt.
· I was at the Auto Show on Saturday 12-2-06, looking at Mercedes that I will never be able to afford, and I turn around and see the "My Name Is Earl" Crab Man himself, Eddie Steeples. I resisted the urge to say "Hey Crab Man", which I'm sure many did before me throughout the day. But he seems like a cool guy.
That's all I got.
· I was dining on Monday, 12-4, during happy hour at the Jewish Home For The Aged at Kate Mantilini's, and Joel Grey was there, looking pretty perky, but as short as you'd suspect. He was with some tall, shaved-headed dude in a leather bomber who was pretty handsome. I suppose I could have stared more and tried to figure out their connection, but you know, fuck, it's Joel Grey. Who cares - life's too short.
· You know, TMZ should just station their cameras outside the LAX American Airlines Admirals Club. This is the place for D-List sightings. Tuesday, 12-5. Apparently deciding he had to escape of the wrath of America in advance of the season finale of America's Next Top Model, Jay Manuel is hightailing it to Australia for reasons unknown, presumably to be fierce in lieu of Tyra. So let's critique. Dear Jay, that Louis Vuitton travel bag is just tacky - labels are so 1989. As are your torn jeans, presumably True Religion, although that's not the way I roll so I can't be sure. The black t-shirt does nothing for your figure. I mean, you are slender and have nice arms and some pecs, but the paunch down below is distracting. Your butt is also kind've big. You do have the appropriate height, but I'm worried about your feet. They are fucking huge. We're talking size 16. Forget the foot modeling career. And some advice on TSA security. Cowboy boots (distressed and antique, natch), lots of jewelry, and a queer-ass western belt with a huge buckle should be removed before entering the security check. That being said, you can't go unrecognized with that haircut. And some Maybelline would help with the rather pale and drawn face. What the hey. I'm not you, and you were really sweet the entire way through check-in, all the way to the inner sanctum of the Aadmirals Club. So you're OK with me. Have a good flight. And work it girl.
· kristin "STEPHEN, WHERE AAARE YOU" cavallari at gen art's shopLA, being followed by an entire film crew. aren't you special.
· I'm on a plane from LAX to DFW on 12-5 and who jumps on board but Lukas Rossi, the winner of this past year's Rockstar: Supernova (although thanks to TVGasm, I will always remember him as "Oompalukas" ). He's with a Smurfette, who's even about 6" shorter than him, which puts her at dwarf status (also honey Smurfette, midget fireplugs do not do any justice to tight grey pull-over one-piece sweater dresses and white Ugg boots [what little justice there was left to be had]). Oompalukas had his blonde mohawk cascading over his brunette hair, and had applied every single bit of his trademark mascara. But no one noticed him, perhaps because he was sitting in coach (zing). He got off the plane ducking his head and wearing sunglasses although I'm not sure why, because absolutely no one knew who this stupid little guy was (except for me, and that causes me great shame). Anywhose, I knew J.D. Fortune, and Oompalukas, you are not him. Give it up.*
*Full Disclosure: I'm a card carrying member of Team Zayra.
· Was at Les Deux on Saturday night and Lauren Conrad et al. were filming The Hills at the table next to ours. This is pretty much what I envisioned Hollywood to be like before I moved here... no matter where you go someone is bound to be filming a reality TV show...
Anyhow, there was little interaction between the two tables until are 1:30 when some girl at our table decided that she was going to walk over to LC's table and "accidentally" spill her (girl from our table) entire drink all over her (LC's) back. I watched with mouth agape as one for the girls from LC's table then retaliated by throwing her entire drink all over the girl from our table. I was very intoxicated at this point so I don't remember too well what happened next but I can report that there was unfortunately NOT a full-blown cat fight. Only some light name-calling. I later found myself engaged in conversation with the Hills girls, apologizing for the incident. They were all cool about it, way cooler than I would have been had I got a drink poured all over me for no reason. I took the opportunity to tell LC how much I enjoyed Laguna Beach back in the Halcyon days of 2003, and she graciously accepted my uninspired drunken praise.
I was going to ask her out for gelato... but I figured "too soon."