With the holiday season in full swing, we're starting to get reports from various company parties. The common denominator seems to be that a) nobody serves food, and b) the parties suck. After the jump, we share reviews of two recent shindigs: Hearst and VNU.
First up, a dispatch from the Hearst event:
I'm suspecting you guys got emails about this already, but just in case you didn't, the Hearst party last night sucked major ass. First they decided to have the party in the damn building, which was fine at first because none of us missed squeezing into the entrance of Tavern on the Green. Only after visiting the three party floors (3, 29, and 44) did I truly feel slapped by the bigwigs of Hearst. THERE WAS NO FOOD. No where to be found. Sure, there were some hor de vours being passed around, but even those were too far in few inbetween to actually count. There were some boxed cookies on 29, which has the entire floor dedicated to Good Housekeeping's kitchen, but fuck those boxed cookies, I was not interested in them. Instead, there was plenty of alcohol, and you had to leave your glass behind any time you switched floors, so that was pretty wasteful if they were trying to cut costs. But if anyone actually got wasted...well...drinking on an empty stomach will do that to you. Maybe that was there plan, to just not feed us anything but alcohol and trick us into thinking we're having fun. Oh and I'm no fatty either, it's not like I'm screaming, "I need my bucket of shrimp!" but I was on the elevator with three Cosmo girls who looked like they weighed about 105 lb. and even they were saying they were hungry. I mean, aren't they used to being starving? So you know it must've been pretty bad if even they were complaining about no food. Hearst employees don't get gifts or bonuses either, and individual magazines have to reach into their own pockets if they want to throw staff parties. I bet the Hearst execs are rolling around in their money like Scrooge McDucks. Bitches.
Next, the VNU party:
VNU, the Dutch (well, formerly Dutch) company that owns Billboard, The Hollywood Reporter, Mediaweek, etc., hosted its holiday party last night at oh-so-chic Capitale in the Bowery. Nice place, decent music, except for one thing —
There was NO food served to the hundreds of VNU employees, except for the usual little finger food.
Party-goers were understandably pretty ticked.
For a company that just laid off 10% of its global workforce a week ago, you'd think they could actually afford some roast beef. But nope. The best one could hope for at this shindig was tiny little appetizers, if they were lucky.
I mean, for fucks sake, where does it end? And is it really a party if there's no food?