What Common Food Product Will Shrink Your Dick And Turn You Gay? Click Here!

Ordinarily we'd relegate this to our Great Moments in Journalism feature, but, let's face it, nothing you find on nutjob conservative website WorldNetDaily can really be considered journalism. Still, we're not afraid to be servicey here at Gawker, and seeing as this piece might contain some important news you can use, we thought we'd share it. As it turns out,

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.
Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.
The dangerous food I'm speaking of is —
And, much like those local news teasers, we're going to leave you in suspense. The frightening truth after the jump.

It's... soy! Yes!

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

Do we really need to add anything here? We thought not.

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals [WND]