Ten Bad-Ass Bots

NICK DOUGLAS — Forget RoboCop — the real bad dude in the '87 film is the massive ED-209. But this bumbling behemoth — its one weakness was stairs — couldn't beat Tom Servo in a battle of wits. Here they are, with video of eight other badass sci-fi robots. In the deleted scene below, ED-209 pumps some rounds into a businessman. Cathartic but not safe for work.

  1. ED-209, Robocop: As shown above, this thing can cause serious damage. No wonder all the security bots in Deus Ex Machina look just like him. You have 30 seconds to comply.
  2. Roy Batty, Blade Runner: He's seen things you people wouldn't believe. He will obliterate you. And then he will write a Kansas song about it.
  3. The Iron Giant: It's always the quiet ones. The Art-Deco Iron Giant is gentle until the guns come out. Then it's wham, bam, blam blam blam.
  4. Toaster, Battlestar Galactica: The original Cylons, redesigned. And thank gods they don't look like something from the Apple labs — the oscillating red glow on these slick gray killing machines strike terror in humans' hearts.
  5. Six, Battlestar Galactica: The Cylons look like us now! Only Gaius Baltar . God's special messenger wants to tell you his plan — but she might have to kill you.
  6. Optimus Prime, Transformers: Robots can't disguise their prostate problems.
  7. Droideka, The Phantom Menace: This Star Wars battledroid tucks, rolls, then whips back like a casual gunslinger to fire twin blasters.
  8. Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Look at this. Blonde hair." "Yeah, you can usually find a blonde hair in a field of wheat." "At night." "In a fog." Oh snap, someone got Servo'd! Gumball-machine-head over there has a razor wit, and for a party trick he bends space and time.
  9. T-1000 or The Terminator: Who's tougher, the molten T-1000 or the Terminator that, um, melts him to death? Feel free to debate below.
  10. The orange-shirted dance competitor: Once he pulls the strobe effect, it's all over.
This is an installment in the daily Diggbait column by Nick Douglas, who also writes at Eat the Press.