• We had already convinced ourselves that the white blotch in Paris's nostril wasn't coke — looks like a reflection, doesn't it? But then we read this publicist denial, and were forced to reconsider: "I would imagine [it's] something like whipped cream or a sugary substance from dessert, something that naturally might have found its way onto her face if she touched her nose or whatever. I'd label it a stray dessert." [NYP]
  
• Boning Britney Spears won't even get you into Hyde these days. [TMZ]
  
• Yet another spurious Borat lawsuit: someone whose dick Sasha Baron Cohen ogled at the urinal is demanding punitive damages. Good luck, dude. [Topix]
  
• Goodbye, grandpa from Everybody Loves Raymond. [TMZ]
  
• Jessica Simpson can't remember her lines. Question: if Jessica Simpson is a dumb blonde in real life, why can't she play one convincingly? A mystery for the ages. [DerekHail]
  
• Paging Judith Regan: Kevin Federline wants to "write" a "book" about Britney. [The Scoop]
  
• Mean Girl Lacey Chabert gives God the glory for all her success, including, apparently, this Maxim spread. And we mean spread. [Dan Madison]
  

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