Gawker Stalker: Saturday Night Live Dead To Us, Esp. Myers

You know what? It's cool that the cast of Saturday Night Live lives in New York and all, but unless you spot them lying in a gutter in a puddle of their own vom, we don't want to hear about it. And that proclamation goes triple for SNL alum Mike Myers, who's been spotted with Nothian frequency lately sporting a new accessory in place of his regulation hockey stick: a "a much-younger looking blond hipster-y ladyfriend," or, alternatively, " a much younger blond girl. She was just ok." Let's open our eyes a little bit wider, people. Look beyond Myers and set your sights on more exotic celeb prey. Also, while we're on the topic, let's all just accept as a given that models are pretty, old people tend to look old, and everyone is shorter in person. Especially Peter Dinklage.

Earlier: Our Gawker Stalker Confession