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You know what? It's cool that the cast of Saturday Night Live lives in New York and all, but unless you spot them lying in a gutter in a puddle of their own vom, we don't want to hear about it. And that proclamation goes triple for SNL alum Mike Myers, who's been spotted with Nothian frequency lately sporting a new accessory in place of his regulation hockey stick: a "a much-younger looking blond hipster-y ladyfriend," or, alternatively, " a much younger blond girl. She was just ok." Let's open our eyes a little bit wider, people. Look beyond Myers and set your sights on more exotic celeb prey. Also, while we're on the topic, let's all just accept as a given that models are pretty, old people tend to look old, and everyone is shorter in person. Especially Peter Dinklage.

Earlier: Our Gawker Stalker Confession