But Now Who Will Publish The Judith Regan Story?

When Arsenio Hall lost his talk show in 1994, [Regan] campaigned for the slot. "When (a Fox executive) finally told her she wasn't getting the job, we all heard her screaming in her office. 'You know why? Because he has a small dick, and he's afraid I'm going to eat it. And then I'm gonna eat his testicles. Then I'm going to eat into his body cavity ...
You can immediately understand, can't you, why the news of Judith Regan's firing has us feeling a poignant mix of emotions? On the one hand, when we read that Regan had, via a two-sentence press release, been informed that her employment with HarperCollins was terminated, we felt vindicated. There is (ludicrously inefficient) justice in the world! But then we felt a pang of sadness. We won't have Judith Regan to kick around anymore! There will be no more Vanity Fair profiles with quotes like the one above! No ReganBooks employees will have any more fodder for their romans a clef! It's a happy day for book publishing, but a sad day for people who make fun of it.

But wait, what the hell are we talking about? There's no way in hell this woman won't resurrect her career in some literary agency/consultancy form. She has "the biggest dick in the room!" Also, her "clit is this big (holds out fingers)"! Obvs she will be like the horror-movie villain who keeps getting revived in a series of increasingly improbable sequels. This is just the first act. Hang in there, Judy. We're rooting/not rooting for you.

Judith Regan, Mastermind of OJ's 'If I Did It' Book, Is Fired
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Judith Regan