Defamer Party Preview: The Academy Holiday Party

During this holiday season, Defamer is committed to giving a voice to readers wishing to blow the whistle on the mirth-killing party practices of their employers, whose exclusionary invitation policies, Scroogey alcohol-consumption-throttling mechanisms, or other generalized Grinchery threaten to make staffers forget what end-of-year events are all about: getting drunk enough to forget the pain of the past 12 months (and, hopefully, to have an ill-advised, spiked-eggnog-fueled tryst with a co-worker in a darkened hallway). An anonymous AMPAS worker files this report about the Academy's upcoming Christmas bash:

First let me say, I wish I could use my real name but I have to pay my rent.

Here's the down low on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Christmas Party. The whole point of any work-related party is to mix and mingle with people you work with but don't know or see very often. Also to hopefully let all employees know they are appreciated.

The story begins with last Christmas, when "the mgmt" decided that not all were welcome at our annual holiday fiesta. Yes, it's true. They decided to only invite full time employees. Despite the fact that many of our part time employees had worked for us for many years and several "new" full time employees had been there for a few months, part-timers were excluded.

So, invitations were sent to the "chosen ones" for the Christmas party. Many complained but mgmt didn't listen and continued the policy through out the year. (There are three annual parties for the Staff, a we-all-survived-the-show party in April at the Pickford Center, a barbeque at the Fairbanks Center in August and the Christmas party traditionally held in the Goldwyn lobby.) So, at the Pickford Party part-time employees working in the building were not invited to a party taking place "for employees" in their own lobby. Same for the other two. Such Class.

The "official" claim was we had gotten so big there wasn't enough room in the Goldwyn lobby for all of us. (Complete lies of course, because I've seen twice the number of current employees packed into the Goldwyn lobby for a reception before an Academy event. Also, the party is always held at the latest possible date to keep the numbers low. Cheap bastards.) Despite the fact that according to an LA Times article, we are sitting on a $140 million, and could easily afford to rent somewhere with enough room for all employees, they proceeded with the plan.

Also, despite the non-cash flow problem, they continue to give out $100 or $200 bucks as a Christmas bonus to the "chosen ones." It's the same dollar amount they've given out for the past several years. It never goes up.

The best part is the food at the Christmas party is gourmet and there is an open bar. Aside from the tiny "bonuses" they give out discarded, left over merchandise from the show, usually something with the ABC logo all over it, and other assorted crap they clear out of storage.Then employees who have slaved away for 10, 15 or even 20 years are given 'honorable mention' by the executive director and given what looks like a tiny gold pin (size of a dime?) with AMPAS and the number of years. No shit. Thanks for your loyalty folks. Happy-sucking-crapass-cheapass-Holidays from the Academy!