Short Ends: Miss USA Sentenced To Rehab By A Displeased Donald

· We tried and we tried (we swear!), but in the end, we just couldn't make ourselves give a shit about the Miss USA situation. Even a little. We will, however, run this large picture of the semidisgraced Tara Conner getting theatrically weepy at press conference announcing The Donald has temporarily exiled her to rehab until she learns to party in a manner more becoming a Trump-owned pageant winner.
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x17 Online has some striking before and after pics of Paris Hilton running the alcohol/chemical-abuse gauntlet at Teddy's. Couldn't she pull herself together a little bit for the cabbie?

[Photo: Getty Images]