Last evening, as the days grew ever closer to Christmas, we decided to investigate whether Judith Regan's allegations of a Jewish media cabal were true, and so we headed to the launch-slash-holiday party for Jewcy.com. More than one person has informed us that Jewcy is the "Jewish Slate" (a moniker which we find almost redundant, but never mind), and the scene at the Ars Nova penthouse (more on that later) was appropriately intellectual Jew-y, with some low-cut-dress-wearing shiksas thrown in for good measure. We sent along Gawker Associate Editor Doree Shafrir, herself a member of the Jewish media cabal, and resident Gawker photographer Nikola Tamindzic , himself a celebrator of Orthodox Christmas, which isn't even in December, to see what was what.
I arrive at the Ars Nova building, a theater on West 54th Street in the far west bowels of Hell's Kitchen, and am greeted by a skinny man with a clipboard wearing what appears to be the tightest shirt I've ever seen. He's guarding the list as if to save his life, and once we pass muster we're allowed upstairs into what appears to be someone's quite fancy apartment. We're talking Miele hoods here, people! Lots of Jews are milling about, getting drinks from two gay bartenders, one of whom is wearing a Shalom, Motherfucker T-shirt. Apparently being a member of the cool Jew movement requires wearing ironically sloganed T-shirts, and I felt woefully underdressed. I couldn't quite decide what the vibe was—on the one hand, it felt like a fancy cocktail party, and the top-shelf liquor was a nice touch (though my Jewish parents certainly never had Dewar's, much less Maker', on hand). On the other hand, the Asian DJ was playing some of the worst club music I'd ever heard. Also, the lights were too bright, thereby accentuating some of the not-so-young men's chest hair. Not a good look!
We were looking for signs of a media and/or publishing cabal, and while we did spot many dorky writers, they could hardly be said to be cabalistic. (Sorry, bad joke!) But we did notice that the brownies on the table had been baked with the blood of Christian children, so perhaps that Regan was onto something. Merry Hanukkah, everyone!