Fictional Cannibalism A Romantic Deal-Breaker For Martha Stewart

None of us will ever really know what exactly went down behind the razorwire-and- chocolate-frosting-fortified walls of Camp Cupcake, but whatever it was, it appears to have melted the ice sculpture known as Martha Stewart into a woman of almost human-like coloring and behavior. Whether standing up to a bullying Donald Trump and his hair, aloofly fending off Borat's amorous advances on The Tonight Show, or, most recently, holding her own against Sirius co-jock Howard Stern and his probing questions about sex behind bars, Martha 2.0 is all about letting us in. Take, for example, her candid insights from that same Stern interview about why things never worked out with crush-object Sir Anthony Hopkins:

"Oh, I loved him, but he was... scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine; I have this beautiful home in Maine... but then I reconsidered because I saw that movie again. Do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?...I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins, but I couldn't get past the Lecter thing."

Regardless of whether or not it happens to be taking place in an elegant New England estate, we'd imagine that the eating of one's own brain on a first date is almost always a foreboding sign of things to come. Good for Martha, then, for identifying the problem early on and avoiding future romantic disappointment; too many women would have gladly allowed a world class catch like Hopkins to feast on the contents of their skulls, not realizing that while they may be sacrificing in the short run their ability to do long division and/or speak Spanish, what they are ultimately doing is compromising a huge part of themselves.

Bonus link: March 16, 2001: Top 16 things overheard on their date.