The Totally Outsourced Hedge Fund Manager

We remember reading this New York article about The Outsourced Parent a while back and being impressed by the creativity of its central conceit — a subtle jab at the way many New York-area businesspeople let other people perform more and more of the basic tasks involved in childrearing, dressed up as a service piece. Surely, though, we thought, no one actually does delegate every single responsibility involved in having a family to an outsider.

And then we saw this job posting and realized that sometimes, we are so fucking naive. Choicest bits after the jump.

Hello All,

A managing partner of a rapidly expanding $4 billion hedge fund (a multi-strategy credit opportunity fund that specializes in credit analysis and credit-related investments) located in Southern Fairfield County, CT is seeking an extremely organized, time efficient Personal Assistant/Executive Assistant who can take charge of the day-to-day functioning of the family and home office.
In addition to thriving in a business setting, the Personal Assistant must also enjoy working with children. You would work in the hedge fund office and also in the Managing Partner's home—both located in Southern Fairfield County, CT. Overall, the Managing Partner is seeking someone who feels intense ownership of the people she is supporting—and views herself as a professional who eagerly goes the extra mile.

Children Responsibilities

* Sign children up for extracurricular activities
* Maintain children's activity calendar in Excel (Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer)
* Assist with car rides for the children
* Schedule medical appointments for the children
* On occasion - run errands pertaining to the children
o Book store
o Pharmacy
o Clothing Stores
o Party Supply Stores
* Organize and execute Birthday Parties for the children
o Develop theme
o Order the cake (make sure it is peanut/nut free)
o Determine food options (make sure completely peanut/nut free)
o Decorate
o Actively participate during the party
* Work one on one with Recruiters to hire nannies, tutors and instructors
o Fill out paperwork
o Conduct first round interview
o Keep a binder (of all resumes viewed)
o Determine if the family should meet with the candidate

Etc, etc, etc. Boy, we're more and more glad that our parents aren't rich.

Administrative
[Women@Work]