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"This is just amazing — so many people." "I'm from the South, and you have to do this if you're from the South." "I think this party is awesome." Blah blah blah. Would anyone at the 52nd Annual Debutante Ball say anything that wasn't bland and polite? Did no one see the ridiculous side of the anachronistic rich-people gathering?

Well, yeah.

"It's full of room-temperature-IQ Texans, ghastly boring Americans and ugly old people," he said of the party. "It's ghastly—it's so bloody pretentious. Yes, there are beautiful women here, but their brains are like Down syndrome. Bad breeding, bad brains." He took a deep pull from his cigarette and exhaled, and continued with equal theater. "We stopped doing this sort of thing 100 years ago," he said. "It still goes on now, but it's lower-class peasants who do it."

This, from Freddy Paterson-Morgan, the escort of Lady Henrietta Seymour, who later told him to "stop being such a dick." We certainly hope he won't ever heed her advice.

Ms. Hedberg Presents [NYO]