• By balk
    Jan 4, 2007 9:50 AM 1,420
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    Rewriting the 'Post': Hot Gym Janitor Action

    equinox.gifWe promise not to make a regular feature out of this, but some days it's going to be impossible to resist: Today's Post piece on a suit filed by service employees against Equinox Gym just cries out for the rewrite treatment. The Post's version:

    Being a janitor is a dirty job - but it shouldn't be that kind of dirty. Maintenance workers have filed suit against their old bosses at Equinox gyms, charging they allowed their workplace to become like a live peep show - and made them the mop-up men. The six men's suit says they were "exposed to in appropriate, lewd, embarrassing and humiliating sexual behavior and activities occurring in the showers, saunas, steam and [men's] locker rooms" that they then had to clean up at Equinox clubs around Manhattan. The "hostile work environment" was made even worse when management refused to help them with the sticky situation, the suit says.
    We'll take a couple whacks at this one and then we'll let you mop up the rest:

  • When they took the job at an Equinox gym, these janitors knew they'd occasionally have to see men in various states of undress; what they didn't count on was all the semen they'd have to clean up.
  • Mop-bucket? It was more like jizz-bucket for six workers at citywide Equinox gyms, a lawsuit says.
  • "If it falls to our luck to be street-sweepers, sweep the streets, like Raphael painted pictures," Martin Luther King, Jr. once said. But a few sweepers at Equinox gyms might argue that Rembrandt used paint to create his masterpieces, not splooge.
  • "We don't put ammonia on your Elliptical trainers; please don't put man-mayo on our floors." That sign should be posted in all Equinox gym locker rooms, say six janitors who are suing the chain.
  • The floor of a local Equinox gym looked like it was covered in melted McFlurry, according to six janitors who filed suit against the organization yesterday.

    Wow. This one was much harder. Still, we expect great things.

    PEEP & SWEEP FUROR [NYP]

    Earlier: Rewriting the 'Post': Gay-Hating Mickey D's Patron


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