Last night, treading dangerously close to territory we swore never to revisit, Team Party Crash invaded Room Service to pay respects to one Michael Musto. His Village Voice column, "La Dolce Musto," has been Carrie-Bradshawed into a book of the same name, and all manner of gleeful vermin emerged to celebrate. Immersed in a sea of gays, trannies, and highly plasticized women, our editorial assistant Heather and shutterfly Kate endured a two-hour photo op hosted by Perez Hilton and Rosie Perez. Attempts to assuage Musto's Gawker dread were inconclusive. Join H&K in attempting to calculate the combined plastic surgery bill of Amanda Lepore, Joan Rivers, and Ivana Trump. Alternatively, you can try to count Mickey Boardman's sequins, experience the retina-searing horror of Bridget Everett's bare pooper, or check out a little man-love action between Perez Hilton and Gatecrasher's Ben Widdicombe. Proceed at your own risk to the gallery, or engulf Kate's engorged version. A few NSFW traps scattered here and there, so consider yourself warned.