We somehow missed this during our morning rounds, but the NY Daily News' Ben "Gatecrasher" Widdicombe reports that a third party is shopping around a sex tape made by longtime Paris Hilton accessory Kim Kardashian (who denies it exists) and an ex-boyfriend, asking anyone interested in obtaining the video to pony up a million dollars:
We spoke to a gentleman who says he viewed the tape and that it is being brokered for the very Dr. Evil price of one meeellion dollars.
"It's your typical graphic sex tape," he says.
We'll spare you the exact description (you can probably guess), but he did say "there's a golden shower at the end."
We thought that once-sacred celebrity sex tape genre couldn't possibly be more devalued than when Screech decided that documenting himself giving a Dirty Sanchez to an anonymous bachelorette party stray would be a good career move, but we—as we so often are—were wrong. If the above-referenced video featuring an R&B singer we've never heard of recreationally urinating upon a Hilton sidekick does exist, it would clearly represent a depressing new low for the form, no matter how badly we'd want to watch it.