David Patrick Columbia vs. Socialite Rank: Round 2

You can imagine how delighted we are to see the feud- seed that we planted germinating, sprouting, and beginning to bear stinky, bitter fruit: elder statesman of goss David Patrick Columbia has finally seen fit to bite back at the nasty young upstart/s (*cough* Derek Blasberg *cough cough*) at Socialite Rank. SR had emailed us to clarify that the reason they no longer linked to DPC's New York Social Diary was that he was "boring," "dull as a plastic airline knive [sic]," and that his audience "already qualifies for reservation spaces in the cemeteries." David Patrick Columbia has a few choice words for the Rankles, and they're at least all spelled correctly. Snap! After the jump, we translate them from old-people-ese.

Well, I will say that this time of year is the dull time for us chroniclers and our barnacles. Even the weather is dull, although certainly not boring considering its implications. I'm always surprised at the mean-spiritedness that emerges so frequently from us audiences, or the so-called nameless-facelesses who blog their (little) hearts out. I always wonder why? For what? To be a bitch? To possibly hurt? Insult? Maybe; you never know. I have to say it is funny, however, both haha and odd, to be referred to as "old." And true, very true, especially if you're very young (which is how we all view people who are younger than we by decades). But it makes you laugh too because no matter your age, one of the surprises in life is that you never really grow out of feeling the way you felt when you were a kid. Curious but true. And when one gets to a certain age, there are all kinds of anxieties which arise in a variety of ways. Not dissimilar to acne, for some of us who shall remain nameless (and faceless). Because it's a process of processing. There are all kinds of clarity that result too. Which is how you can laugh at the real idiots, no matter how silly or nasty they seem.
Trans: Derek Blasberg has bad skin, and David Patrick Columbia is too classy to sully himself with this shit (uh, except by writing this), and also, he's too old to care. Well, we know what side of this tiff we're on: everybody's. Keep it coming!

After The Rain [NYSD]

Earlier: Socialite Rank Shutout: David Patrick Columbia Too Ugly-Inclusive