Kirk Douglas Fondly Recalls Carefree, Kinky Days Of Slapping Nazi Stewardesses

Because we've lately been devoting an unprecedented number of column inches to the unexpected appeal of Hollywood's mature lady sexpots, we thought we should also spend some time toasting the enduring potency of the less-fair gender. What better candidate, then, than nonagenarian former matinee idol Kirk Douglas, who, Page Six reports today, has penned an autobiography in which he shares some of his most memorable encounters from over 75 years of freaky sexploits:

In his new memoir, "Let's Face It - 90 Years of Living, Loving and Learning," due in April from Wiley, the cleft-chinned Oscar-winning star of such pictures as "Spartacus" and "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral" recalls a fling with a "big, tall blond" German airline stewardess who liked to be disciplined in bed. During their enthusiastic sex sessions, "she would scream, 'I'm a Nazi!' - which was his cue to slap her, which he did, Douglas writes.

While we'd like to think we're open to the introduction of creative twists into old-fashioned lovemaking, something about Douglas's "fascist tormentor vs. Warsaw ghetto upriser" role-playing game might be a little too kinky for our tastes. Far be it from us to moralize about the pleasure-seeking behaviors of two consenting adults, however, just so long as the two rough-sex participants agreed on a safe word—perhaps a sonorous "Juden Raus!"—in case the Nazi-slapping fun ever got out of hand.