Taking the Douchebait: "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single" Guy

We tried to resist, we really did. But much as we'd like to ignore this in the hopes that it'll go away, we can't help but heap scorn on it (even though that is exactly what it wants). Such is . . . our job. Anyway, meet Eric Schaeffer, a 5'8'' semi-failed screenwriter whose blog is the latest addition to the stable of the Rudius (ugh, we feel like we just said "Voldemort"!) blog empire of sickmaking, unfunny douchebaggery. He's looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with, but he has some pretty stringent requirements:

It's nothing personal. I LOVE everything about women as they get older. Women over 45 are divine. They've dropped all their shit and really sink into their bodies and beings but.... BUT unfortunately, babies are done.

Therefore, 36 is my cut off. Maybe 37ish but I simply know deep in my soul that I want my own children at least first before I think about adopting and I don't want them for at least 5 years.

I don't get mad when women like black guys, or young guys or buff guys, it's their preference. God bless them. STOP GETTING MAD AT ME AND THE REST OF US 45 YEAR OLD MEN WHOSE CUT OFF IS 36 OKAY?!!! FOR WHATEVER REASON, YOU DECIDED NOT TO HAVE KIDS YET AND THAT'S FINE, BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THEM YET, OKAY?! WE LOVE YOU BUT IT'S AN ISSUE!!!

Look in the mirror and question yourself and your motives and choices and intentions. It will yield a far more healthy and productive harvest then the superficial obvious misdirected anger you hurl at us.

So anyway, she was 25 and an old soul which was great.

Hmm, yeah, why is this dude still single again?

I Can't Believe I'm Still Single [note: don't click. Please.]

Eric Schaeffer [imdb]