Dating Eric Schaeffer: Reports From The Field

Well, we knew it would happen eventually: our best efforts to never post about Eric Schaeffer again have been thwarted. The reason? We've started getting emails from women who've not only "winked" at Eric on Match and talked dirty with him on Nerve, they've actually met him in person (or they have a "friend" who has met him in person). So, uh, how'd it go?

eric contacted me on nerve maybe a year ago. had one conversation and realized we belong to the same gym. met up that day at the gym and if you think he is repulsive in person, you can't imagine how much more unattractive he is in person. its not in my nature to tell someone straight to their face that i am absolutely not attracted to them, so i was trying to let him down easy but he kept digging digging digging for reassurance. do i think he's as attractive in person? am i attracted to him? so desperate for acceptance. the cardio date would not be complete without a invitation to fuck him in the 2nd floor bathroom (i declined), followed by a few emails suggesting that if i wasn't interested in him romantically, we should still get together to have sex. even with my history of going for all the wrong kinds of men, i had enough sense to steer clear of that one but only because i am ultimately shallow and he is ugly.
We appreciate your honesty, tipster! Next!
He went on a date with a friend of mine (set up through nerve) and then proceeded to spend the entire night first grilling her about when, if they were to fall madly in love and get married (his words), she planned to have children and then explaining to her why her timeline (which she hadn't thought through in nearly enough detail to satisfy him) was totally wrong. She left before dessert. He's the guy all my friends bring up when people start talking about online dating psychos ... also, he is, in fact, shorter than 5'8. And did I mention crazy?
Not bad, not bad. But this one's our favorite so far.
As you all probably know by now, Eric Schaeffer is not only a recovering alcoholic but an anorexic (thus his FX show 'Starved'). My friend met him online (unfortunate for her) and agreed to hang out with him one day while he was doing Master Cleanse. He couldn't muster the energy to remove himself from the couch but expected a blowjob anyway.
We want to Master Cleanse our brain after reading just these, but we're still professionally obligated to ask you to send more .

Earlier:We Sure Opened Up A Monster Can of Douchebait Re: Eric Schaeffer