Lindsay Lohan Disrupting Others' Proactive Decisions To Tend To Their Personal Health

This morning, rehabilitation program quality-control watchdog organization TMZ.com reveals the results of their exclusive exit poll of an outgoing Wonderland Center resident, who claimed that the facility has devolved into a state of Lohan-induced anarchy since admitting its most famous drop-in client:

TMZ spoke with a recent ex-resident of the Wonderland house where Lohan has been, er ... staying, and said that making an early exit was due entirely to the distraction created by Lindsay. Our source went on to say that once TMZ broke the story of Lindsay's special treatment, Wonderland began treating all of the residents with more leniency, allowing all kinds of special treatment for everyone.
"Wonderland has become a joke," according to our source. A very expensive joke. "While I'm trying to save my life, she's (L.L.) trying to save her face." Reps from Wonderland had no comment.

While Wonderland is proud of the outpatient programs it custom-tailors to allow clients considerable freedom in pursuing their professional endeavors (after all, Hollywood doesn't grind to a halt because someone's trying to dry out, unless they're getting $15 million per picture), should residents continue to vent their frustrations anonymously to the media, they might have to take drastic measures to prevent further loss of business, like publicly deporting the actress to Promises Malibu, where fellow rehabbers will hardly notice her repeated absences while trying to drive out their demons with the sobering roar of the Pacific.