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We'll spare you the text of the publicist pitch that informed us that Taco Bell, like some kind of buzz-vulture feasting on the marketing carrion of another corporate predator's pop-culture kill, intends to get its own piece of the recent "controversy" over exhousehusband-for-hire Kevin Federline's much-discussed commercial for Nationwide insurance, in which a deeply offended fast-food community has loudly protested the upcoming denigration of a proud vocation during the Superbowl; suffice it to say that the attached photograph sums up the entire campaign concept in a single, tidy image. But should you desire to feel the sweet prick of the second spork-prong of Taco Bell's publicity attack, the letter containing their Fearless Gordita-Pushing Leader's formal offer of a one-hour shift working the sour cream gun follows after the jump:

Greg Creed President Taco Bell Corp. 17901 Von Karman Irvine, CA 92614

January 31, 2007
Mr. Kevin Federline
c/o Marilyn Lopez
FYI Public Relations
New York, NY 10023

Dear Mr. Federline,
First off, congratulations on your upcoming Super Bowl ad. We heard it's generating a lot of talk, particularly about working in the fast food industry.

We know you respect those who work in our business. In fact, last year you said in an interview, "My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don't have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell."

We're flattered, but obviously they're too young to work for us. So here's our offer to you: Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We'll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We'll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.

We encourage you to continue to "Think Outside the Bun" and hope you accept our tasty offer.

Greg Creed
Taco Bell Corp.