It's been quite a while since we've had the occasion to lend our helpful suggestions to the casting professionals responsible for quickly filling out the talent roster for CBS's inevitable, ripped-from-the-absurdly-sensational-headlines movie of the week (quite frankly, the Law & Order crew lately has been kicking the network's ass on the exploitation front), but yesterday's arrest of Lisa Marie Nowak, the kidnappingest astronaut in NASA, begs for an immediate Sunday night telefilm treatment. (Working title: Breaking Orbit: The Lisa Marie Nowak Story.) We wholeheartedly agree with a reader's recommendation that an offer should immediately go out to Oscar nominee Toni Collette for the Novak role, who may be lured to the small screen by a gritty, yet somehow flamboyant, part requiring a crazy-love-fueled 900 mile drive to intercept a romantic rival while packing a Wile E. Coyote-quality arsenal of a wig, a trenchcoat, adult diapers, BB gun, a steel mallet, some rubber tubing, and garbage bags. As for the role of her spacefaring object of obsession, putting out a call for "a Tony Shaloub type, but cheaper" will probably do the trick for now, as securing Collette's services will probably eat up most of the casting budget.
- Astronaut charged with kidnap attempt [AP]
- Previously: Defamer Casting: It's Like 'Big Love' Meets 'The Fugitive' [Defamer]