Cisco Adler Embraces His Huge Balls

Unlike certain other fame-adjacent members of Paris Hilton's tardtourage who've recently had images of their naked form made available to the public, former Mischa Barton boyfriend Cisco Adler is philosophical about the notoriety that such an invasion of privacy brings. Reports the NY Observer:

"Ballgate," Mr. Adler called it, reached by phone at his Malibu residence. "Everyone's been really supportive." He laughed a little. "No, I mean—shit, I think it's pretty rock 'n' roll. You know, if it was like yesterday I would've freaked out, but then I looked at the picture and I was like, 'Oh, that's from like 2001. Whatever.'"

How'd it happen?

"Paris' shit got stolen, and somehow she had a picture of me naked in there," he said with a sly snigger. "That's Paris Hilton to you!"

The photograph would have hardly caused a blip were it not for the aspiring rock star's extraordinary genitalia. But Mr. Adler didn't care to discuss this topic other than to say: "I just went to Chicago, and I felt like every older woman at the airport had seen my balls—which was weird."

He continued: "I'm a naked dude! I don't give a fuck."

Perhaps Kim Kardashian, still working through the public denial phase of her sex video, will gain some comfort from Adler's embracing of his gigantic balls, knowing that she'll eventually be able to conquer the paranoid feeling that every doorman in Hollywood has seen her being doggystyled by Brandy's brother.