Not everyone can be a winner like our friend Rachel, but we thought we'd give some recognition to the runners-up in our Win a Date With The Assimilated Negro Valentine's Day contest, just to emphasize how close they were to a blissful evening of small hamburgers and our very own Negro. Being mentioned honorably doesn't really get you anything in this contest besides recognition, but that's the way it goes. Just a few of the great runners-up after the jump.
For the good of black people I have...
- Gone to NBA games.
- Pretended to understand why Nelson Mandela is so important.
- Done excercises to make this white ass rounder.
- Watched "In Living Color" (when it was black).
- Denied Will Smith is gay.
- Denied Queen Latifah is a lesbian.
- Taken public transportation.
- Sipped on gin and juice.
- Freed a slave.
- Laughed at Sinbad.
- Voted democrat.
- Gotten up so an older black woman can sit in front of me on the bus.
- Fucked Bobby Brown.
- Entered this contest (I'm a slut...a sure thing, TAN.)
Says TAN: "If White Castle brings out the sluttiness in you, can't argue with that. Very little personal info here though, so I'd be a little concerned." Yeah, but we like! Okay, onto the next:
I should get the distinct pleasure of having dinner at White Castle with T.A.N on Valentine's Day because I have done the following things for the good of black people; though I currently only have 1.25 black friends I have over the years had at least 5 and the pleasure of my company is definitely of benefit to the African American community as a whole, I recently saw Stomp the Yard and I own the Kings of Comedy DVD as well as Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Outkast, Jay-Z, DMX, Clipse, N.O.R.E, Ludacris, Ghostface Killa, Trick Daddy, Trina, E-40, Tupac, etc. CDs and MP3 files—at least a few pennies must filter down to a black person or two, I haven't dropped the n-bomb in years, I have introduced many a lame white friend to the beauty and the power of Bernie Mac's early comedy before he went all soft and major-network-p.c., oh and I graciously gave my blessing to my mother's marriage to a person on the negro persuasion and since she's loaded that a very good thing for both him and all of my stepfather's broke ass brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, and kids from his two other baby mamas. Of course, I love T.A.N and read his blog religiously. T.A.N will you be my ghetto pass on Valentine's Day?
Industry: Education (I am teaching college while finishing a MA)
Race: Liberal, midwestern guilt-ridden cracker
TAN says: "A little boring ... but the mother's loaded and a negro's tryin' to move up in the world." So true. Plus she sounds cute. Will TAN live to regret not choosing a potential sugar mama? Developing, etc.