David Arquette Remains Gainfully Employed Thanks To More Successful Women In His Family

If you are one of millions of Americans who suffer from mid-afternoon anxiety attacks over an issue that remains frustratingly out of your control—"How's David Arquette's career going?"—we have wonderful news: According to an AP wire report (dateline: whatever press release they copied the information from), Arquette only appears to be expanding his show business resume, thanks to the helping hands of the more successful women in his life:

Patricia Arquette will soon be taking orders from her little brother.

David Arquette, who's married to "Dirt" actress Courteney Cox, will direct an episode of NBC's drama "Medium."

"I was always a bossy little girl and being David's older sister I've bossed him around quite a bit. Now that he'll be directing me it will be payback time," Patricia Arquette, 38, said Monday.

Hopefully, Arquette's latest directing venture will turn out more smoothly than his last, when he arrived at Comic-Con to preview his "political horror" movie The Tripper, only to accidentally lose the tapes. A repeat of that sort of gaffe might mark an early demise to his fledgling TV directing career, at which point the only sister who'll be able to do anything more is Alexis, who'll sternly warn him in advance that she "really stuck my neck out for you to get this gig running the sound board at Trannieaoke Night at Hamburger Mary's, David, so don't fuck this up."