We shared a Williamsburg romantic's Drew Barrymore Valentine's dream-date plan with the world—"when we first officially met upstairs at the spotted pig [Drew and Fabrizio Moretti] were 'this close' to breaking up and it was a magical, magical moment." Others had cast aspersions on his chances with the Music & Lyrics star. Unfortunately, those doubters were right.

A Valentine's Day attendee at Judson Memorial writes:

that poor willie b. kid who thought he was drew barrymore's valentine must be pretty bummed out today. ms. barrymore spent the night canoodling with spike jonze at the arcade fire show last night. andy samberg was also there—alas, sans box. if his promises to the band are true, they'll be playing on snl on the 24th (hosted by rainn wilson). stay tuned to see how long barryonze lasts and if samberg is a big, fat liar.

As we wipe away our tears, let's all try to distract ourselves from the heartbreak by coming up with a better compound nickname than Barryonze. How about: Drike Jonesymore? Barryspiegel?

Earlier: Drew Barrymore's Sad Valentine's Day Plans

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