The New Hollywood-Ready Crazy: The Valentine's Day She-Vampire

With the first Love-Crazed-Astronaut-related project now officially jammed into the development pipleline (even one that's only tangentially connected, but apparently sold on astro-sizzle), studios that want to stay on the cutting edge of fundamentally cinematic batshit-level insanity should already be scrambling to discover the next unhinged hotness. In the interest of making their jobs a little easier, we introduce you the The Valentine's Day She-Vampire:

Police in Tempe, Ariz., said 23-year-old Tiffany Sutton allegedly tricked her 43-year-old victim with an offer of kinky sex.

But, after tying him up, police said, she pulled out a knife and cut the man on the leg. She then told him she likes to drink blood and proceeded to drink from his leg, officials said.

Sutton allegedly also made several cuts to the victim's upper body.

The victim managed to break free from his restraints and run from the bedroom. The woman then chased him with a pickax, police said.

The subject matter's probably a little too dark for the CBS MOW treatment (and Lifetime would ruin it by framing her bloodlust as some kind of exotic eating disorder), but seems perfectly tailored for studios that churn out low-budget horror, like a Lionsgate or the Weinstein Co., which has recently proven its its willingness to push holiday-exploiting product. And since it's never too early to worry about casting, agents for affordable, crazy-friendly talent like Juliette Lewis and Christina Ricci (or anyone who's been memorably offed in a Final Destination movie, if those two are busy) might want to start working the phones in case someone preemptively options the story.