Overthinking Ralph Fiennes Boning A Stewardess In An Airplane Bathroom

With Ralph Fiennes' attempt at getting his mile-high freak on with a Qantas stewardess in the cramped quarters of an airplane lavatory making international headlines, the concerned citizens over at ABCNews.com turned to a small army of clinical sexologists and psychologists to assess whether this was merely the case of a horny movie star taking advantage of a convenient situation, or the symptom of something much darker:

"It's a delicate line," [Marian Dunn, director of the Human Sexuality Center of SUNY Downstate Medical Center] says. "Some of these things, such as having sex in a public place, are kind of bipolar in terms of the excitement factor." [...]

But the line between compulsive behavior and simple naughtiness may be difficult to draw in many cases. [Sexuality expert Don] Dyson says there are those who may not have a sexual compulsion, but who exhibit "behavior that some might consider naughty."

Indeed, a diagnosis of Naughtiness II disorder frequently strikes at aging male movie stars and can often become something of a life sentence for the patient, characterized by episodes of acute randiness followed by the serial nailing of attractive, starstruck new acquaintances, also known as "fans." We can only hope Fiennes seeks the professional help he needs in combating this debilitating, cheeky disease, before any more innocent stewardesses are despoiled while pressed uncomfortably against a tiny, stainless steel toilet.