Sometimes, news comes along that puts a spring in your step and a gleam in your eye. (No, not Britney Spears going to rehab just now! Well, okay, yes, it does.) But it's also how we felt when we heard that Hallmark was introducing "'Journeys,' a collection of 176 greeting cards "that help people through a difficult time, empathize with them, celebrate a success, or simply brighten their day with a smile." Like the "Sorry You're Infertile" card above!
Journeys cards are for those occasions when, in the past, you wouldn't have quite known what to say. As such, they nearly defy parody.
So it took a few stabs for us to get an impostor card together — we had to toss our first attempt for being too obviously fake, though we're tempted to share it with you anyway. (You should know that it contained this couplet: "But do some thinking and you'll find/He raped your body, not your mind").
Cover copy: Keep it simple.
Inside: It's the most difficult thing some of us will ever do.
Cover copy: I'm sorry you lost your job, but please remember that your job is not who you are. You have many great qualities, and that's what really matters.
Inside: So until someone appreciates your unique abilities, I hope you'll take pride in all you've accomplished and realize how much you have yet to give.
Cover copy: Know that we're all on your side, not the cancer's.
Inside: Your strength is an inspiration.
Cover copy: What you did was amazing, beyond generous and kind. You started a miracle. You gave the gift of life.
Inside: How can anyone thank you enough for that?
Which will you send to Brit-Brit?