So, Britney Spears has reentered some rehab facility or other. And maybe the Post's hope that she'll stay there until we win in Iraq will pan out this time; according to TMZ, this is Britney's "last chance" before K-Fed goes looking for full custody.
It's at times like these when we remember a marginally more innocent era—the dawning days of Britney's marriage, when all the world and love was new. Oh, 2004!
With her "letter to the Fans" in October, 2004, Britney Spears made it clear that she was taking stock and making some serious changes in her life. And—had we only seen it then!—seeds were being planted that would one day grow to bald, bedraggled fruition.
I am also going to take some time off to enjoy life. I've actually learned to say "NO!" With this newly found freedom, its like people don't know how to act around me. Should we talk to her like we did when she was 16 or like the Icon everyone says she is? My prerogative right now is to just chill & let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment... GOOD LUCK GIRLS!! I'm sorry that my life seemed like it was all over the place the past 2 years, it's probably because IT WAS! I understand now what they mean when they talk about child stars. Going & going & going is all I've ever known since I was 15 years old. It's amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive, young, blonde girl & putting her on the cover of every magazine.
With those words, Britney shook off the shackles of her advisors, her youth, her naivete, and perhaps most importantly, her blondeness. Oh, Britney. You're not a girl. But will you ever grow to truly be a woman?
We actually don't have much advice for you. (We're no experts!) But we do remember some wise words by another crazy bald woman, a lady named Sinead O'Connor. (You might not have heard of her, she's really old now.) But she once wrote a song about getting famous young and having babies, which said: "You know how it is, and how a pregnancy can change you." So after the group therapy session, and the mandatory crafts hour, and whatever the fuck else they'll make you do in rehab—umm, what are they treating you for exactly, anyway?—why don't you sit down with some Sinead and have a good cry? Then disappear. The photographers and the tweens and the rest of us, yes even us, maybe even especially us, will still love you later.