Scientists over at, working for the Daily News, have found documents linking the families of civil-rights gadfly Al Sharpton and segregationist-miscegenator Strom Thurmond. Their research shows that, back in 1861, South Carolina slavedriver Alexander Sharpton sold Coleman Sharpton—Al's great-granddad—down the coast to Julia Thurmond (not to be confused with hot English actress Julia Ormond), whose great-grandfather was Strom's great-great-grandfather. Got that? In any case, the dead senator's descendants aren't exactly welcoming our guy Al into the Thurmond fold. (Like we want him either!)

"My uncle was a wonderful person who was loving and very devoted to his family," said [niece Ellen] Senter, adding she would speak to Sharpton if the civil rights leader wanted. "And it is wonderful that [Sharpton] was able to become what he is in spite of what his forefather was."

Umm, you mean, a black man?

Still, one wonders if News reporters Jose Martinez, Jonathan Lemire, Tracy Connor—yes, a triple byline—aren't just a little unfamiliar with the customs of Dixie. Yes, if old Strom was any indication, Thurmond sperm probably impregnated and enslaved (not mutually exclusive) most everybody down there. They're kind of like Genghis Khan or Jesus in that way. We are all made of Strom!

Strom's Kin Stunned [NYDN]