Altarcations: Leah Popowich and Andrew Hohns

As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Every week, we will evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below.

This Sunday's Vows section didn't provide any contenders as strong as last week's winners, Christy Sylvester and Joseph Patt. And while we'd sentimentally hoped that godly bankers Ashley Cargill and Gregory Buechele might make a showing, it turns out that late night Bible study doesn't rack up any points. In the end, it was between two Ivy-bedecked couples, and only one could triumph....

Leah Popowich and Andrew Hohns: 15 Points

  • Leah received a B.A. from Penn: +2
  • Leah received an M.A. from Penn: + 3
  • Andrew received a B.A. from Penn: +2
  • Andrew received an M.A. from Penn: +3
  • Andrew's an I-banker: +1
  • Andrew's on the board of the Philadelphia Mural Arts Program: +1
  • Father was the deputy public printer of the United States under George H.W. Bush, overseeing document production: +3

    RUNNERS UP:Altarcations: Leah Popowich and Andrew Hohns

    Katherine Criner and Andy Bellin: 13 Points

  • Katherine graduated from Princeton: +3
  • Katherine graduated cum laude: +1
  • Katherine is the accessories editor at Harper's Bazaar (media job): +1
  • Andy was an editor at the Paris Review, now an author (media job): +1
  • Andy's parents are from New York: +1
  • Katherine's mother is a trustee of the Contemporary Art Museum in Houston: +1
  • Andy's mother was a model and there's a nude picture of her by Richard

    Avedon at the Met: +3
  • Andy's maternal grandmother, Countess Alicia Spaulding Paolozzi,

    helped Gian Carlo Menotti found the Spoleto Festival U.S.A. in

    Charleston, S.C., in 1977. She also drove for the winning women's team

    in the 1958 automotive Tour De France: +3
  • Andy is 38: -1

    Understanding Intern Alexis's Patented Vows Scoring System, Now Improved With Your Choicest Suggestions From Last Week (Send More)

    Investment banker: 2

    Both Investment bankers: 5

    Management Consultant: 1

    Both management consultants: 3

    Trader: 2

    Both traders: 5

    High-powered lawyer: 2

    Both high-powered lawyers: 5

    Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2

    Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1

    New York Times employee: 1

    Works in media: 1

    Ivy league graduate: 2 *

    Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: 3*

    Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: 7*

    For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: 1

    If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in

    the name: +2

    Graduated Cum Laude: 1

    Graduated Magna Cum Laude: 2

    Graduated Summa Cum Laude: 3

    Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1

    Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1

    For each member of couple over 35: -1

    Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2

    Bride or groom goes by middle name = +1

    Mother a kindergarten teacher or reading specialist/father a wealthy

    industrialist = +3

    If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2

    If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1

    The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2

    Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3

    Descendant of a founding father: +4

    Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1

    per company/org

    Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per

    company/org

    Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1

    If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2

    If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2

    *Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

    Earlier: Christy Sylvester and Joseph Patt