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One of the last things we saw before we collapsed head-first into our laptop mere moments after the final credits rolled on the Oscar telecast was this press release from Access Hollywood, concerning the virtue-protecting jinx eventual Best Supporting Actor usurper Alan Arkin put on precocious co-star Abigail Breslin:

On the Oscar® red carpet, when asked how Breslin is responding to the attention as a Oscar® nominee (nominated for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role), Arkin said, "I hope she loses frankly. No, I'm serious. I am not joking."

Arkin added, "I hope she loses. What, next year she is going to get the Nobel Prize, it's enough. She has had enough attention. I love her and I love her family; and I feel enough is enough. She is a kid; she needs to have a childhood....I hope she loses."

Sunday truly was Arkin's night: Not only did he send Eddie Murphy into a sure spiral of despair (we expect that tomorrow he's going to announce that he's done with any roles in which he can't shield himself from disappointment beneath a protective layer of latex cellulite), his red carpet hex shielded Breslin from Oscar's corrupting influence. And he did it relatively tactfully: He didn't even need to mention the words "Dakota Fanning" for us to know he doesn't want his onscreen granddaughter winding up in any rape movies until she's a little more grown up.