Last night, you watched the Oscars from your couch with a bucket of Cheez Things. Gawker editor Emily Gould and Gawker associate editor Doree Shafrir watched the Oscars at the Spotted Pig with people from reality TV and the bitchy queens of New York magazine, while Gawker photographer Nikola Tamindzic took lovely pix. Jealous much? Well, don't be: it was damn hard to see the show over all those people's heads. (Ooo, sort of a pun!) But Doree and Emily did make some fun new friends at the party, like ganja-toking socialite Arden Wohl (pictured above with a pregnant pal). And they even made it home in time to catch John Travolta's bizarre allusion to his queenliness. The first half of their epic postgame IM convo is after the jump.
doree: maybe we should discuss her first
emily: Well here is how my conversation with her went
emily: First I explained to her what Gawker is
and then a waitress came by with a tray of gougeres and Arden took three of them in a napkin "for her pregnant friend upstairs"
doree: oh those little fried things?
emily: So I was left talking to Arden's business partner
doree: those were delish.
emily: They were good but too salty I thought
Maybe I just got a salty one.
You know what was really excellent? Those little beef carpaccio roll ups
doree: yes, those beef carpaccio things were excellent.
i also enjoyed the cheese boards.
doree: she is very skinny.
emily: Great tits.
doree: small, but perky
doree: but no ass.
emily: You're a lesbian. Anyway, I asked her business partner "Business partner? What kind of business?"
emily: and she said, "MOVIES!"
I'm all, "ohhh."
Then Arden came back and pouted about the fact that we had posted pictures of her smoking weed, and said that her Dad had seen them
doree: deb schoeneman told me that arden has been going out in new york for 15 years
and also that it's because her parents took her everywhere.
so really, should it have been such a surprise to her dad?
emily: Good point! Well, do you want to hear the story behind that photo?
emily: "My parents went to St. Barts. And, like, I didn't go. It was over Halloween. I mean, Thanksgiving. And I was hanging out with my friend Jen who is a publicist for the Maritime Hotel. And I was like 'I don't really feel like drinking, but sure, I'll smoke some pot'"
doree: oh, poor Arden.
emily: "That was the last time I smoked pot."
"Actually, I've smoked pot since then."
emily: I tried to reassure her that it was okay!
I'm like "I have smoked pot 100,000,000 times since Thanksgiving. It's fine."
doree: yes. though, that doesn't explain the necklace around her head
she had some 20s flapper thing going on.
emily: Adam Moss hands down, right?
doree: well, i ran from laurel touby.
doree: her fishnets were scaring me
emily: Scary hair too. She is all "this scrunchie is a 25 cent facelift"
doree: oh god
at one point
she and her husband ran over to the table where they'd put down their stuff
because they were afraid someone else might sit there
emily:Well, seating was very hard to come by
doree: like, they had been watching it from across the room.
then sit there!
emily:remember we had to keep crouching down so that Michael Stipe's friends would stop being like "AHEM"
and pregnant lady
emily:Even during the commercials!
doree: she was very concerned.
because they were IN the commercials
emily: Oh you mean Sarah Sophie Flicker?
Oh! Yeah, that was it
doree: that diet coke commercial
someone was all, "THIS IS MY COMMERCIAL"
emily: hahahaha. brag about it some more!
also, everyone upstairs thought ellen's jokes were way funny
like, uproariously so.
emily: they are all lesbians too i guess. like you!!
ok, and me
i am the one who said arden had nice tits in the first place.
doree: um, yes.
but it's ok
lesbians are the new bisexuals.
emily: that's what i keep hearing!
well I was very starstruck by my conversation with Michael Stipe
doree: i was too starstruck to even talk to him
emily: he was sad because once apparently Gawker said that he smelled bad.
emily: He smelled good, in a delightful sort of hippie way
remember when he asked you what you think of Dirt?
emily: he smelled like the interior of a store where they would sell crystals and dreamcatchers.
doree: there was a store like that in my hometown.
emily: was it called, like, Enchanting Oddments?
doree: it was called horai-san
emily: I feel that michael is an enchanting oddment. I hope he thinks our lives are like Courtney Cox's on that show.
doree: i think he does!
emily: HORAI SAN? oh god.
doree: yes! all faux-asian
did you talk to the queer eye guy?
emily: Ted Allen! YES.
doree: oh THAT'S his name.
emily: I actually had a good question for him.
remember when there was that rumor that Padma Lakshmi, Salman Rushdie wife and Top chef host (ha, sorry) smoked oodles of weed on set?
doree: oh yes
emily: (i love how pot themed all my questioning was, now that i think about it)
emily: well he was a guest judge on top chef
emily: so i asked him about the rumors.
he was like (long pause)
"Ohhh . . . there are rumors about that?"
doree: oh, brilliant
emily: (very long pause)
"Well all I will say is that Padma is talented and beautiful and a true foodie."
doree: i hate that word foodie
emily: really? it does kind of sound like what it is though.
a precious word for a precious type of person
doree: ha, true
emily: also ted thinks that Sam should have won top chef.
I am one of like three people who cares, but it is my duty to report this.
[Ed Note.: Yes, these are usually called Team Party Crash. But guess what? We were fucking invited! By a publicist no less! Eww! What's the world coming to?]