'New York' Mag's Oscar Party, Part Two

Our day-after breakdown of last evening's New York mag Oscar party at the Spotted Pig was so brutally detailed, we had to take a break and come back. In this second and final installment, the gals learn who Bill Hemmer is, discuss the spelling of former Jane editor Jauretsi Saizarbitoria's name (she's pictured, sparklingly, at right), and contemplate using the Spotted Pig as an apartment.

doree: oh, this is that Fox anchor neither of us had ever heard of.

emily: huh. boring!

doree: totally. i hate when people are like ASSUMING i know who they are. [Ed. Note: Umm, Bill Hemmer? Anyone? Seriously?]

emily: like, even if he was licking cornichons off arden wohl's cleavage i would not care.
i hate that too.

doree: you and david edelstein made up
that was sweet.

emily: oh! that was adorable, right?

emily: david edelstein is adorable!

doree: mmhmm
he is.

emily: i liked what he said about IM!
oh YEAH
his 8-year-old daughter IMs
AND she wants a cell phone.

emily: we have so much in common with David Edelstein's daughter. we all want him to use IM!

doree: it's true
maybe we should open an account for him?
NYMAGMOVIESGUY

emily: hee hee!!!
oh, fuck, I told alex i would stop saying that.

doree: why?

emily: I caught it from choire so it is kind of an affectation
It's like if i suddenly started being all
!@#$%$
wait no

doree: ha

emily: sdfgafgadkfh

doree: yes yes

emily: uh.

doree: jauretsi?

emily: so is there anything else interesting?

emily: jauretsi!!!
god, i tried to google her

doree: i was just going to say, let's google her

emily: in the memory of my google it looks like this
jaureutsi
jerautsi

doree: OH GOD

emily: jehrutsi

doree: i found her?
she's under "mad construction"!

doree: this is like atoosa.com

emily: SHE AND ATOOSA MUST BE
ha! jinx

doree: HA

emily: MYSPACE FRIENDS

doree: maybe jauretsi is going for the 20something demographic
and she's conceded teenagers to atoosa

emily: Yeah that is jauretsi's tribe

doree: yes.
i wonder how old she is

emily: I would guess mid30s?

doree: oh yes
you are right
Jauretsi Saizabitoria
oops
i mean
she is 35
so, exactly!

emily: wow, I'm so good!

doree: you are.

emily: is it possible for anyone to have a more difficult name to spell?

doree: no

emily: let's never write about her lest it become one of those terrible kuczynski zinczenko scenarios.

doree: omg, totally
what if she started dating zinczneko?
or however you spell it.

emily: saizarbitoria-zinczenko

doree: their poor children.
did you go to the bathroom upstairs?
they had a shower.

emily: whoa! no, i missed that

emily: i bet there have been some crazy hijinx in there.

doree: totally. and, ew.
there was also a washer-dryer

emily: i kind of want to move in there!

doree: haha

emily: seriously! i mean yes, it's a little loud and packed with manhattan-only celebs letting their hair down
but you really can't beat the location

doree: true
and that kitchen was pretty sweet.

emily: they also have a dishwasher! it's everything i have ever dreamed of
except that it's a restaurant

doree: hmm, right.
well, you could probably work around that.

emily: are we done here?

doree: i think so

Earlier: Team Party RSVP: New York Magazine Oscar Party @ The Spotted Pig