Our day-after breakdown of last evening's New York mag Oscar party at the Spotted Pig was so brutally detailed, we had to take a break and come back. In this second and final installment, the gals learn who Bill Hemmer is, discuss the spelling of former Jane editor Jauretsi Saizarbitoria's name (she's pictured, sparklingly, at right), and contemplate using the Spotted Pig as an apartment.
doree: oh, this is that Fox anchor neither of us had ever heard of.
emily: huh. boring!
doree: totally. i hate when people are like ASSUMING i know who they are. [Ed. Note: Umm, Bill Hemmer? Anyone? Seriously?]
emily: like, even if he was licking cornichons off arden wohl's cleavage i would not care.
i hate that too.
doree: you and david edelstein made up
that was sweet.
emily: oh! that was adorable, right?
emily: david edelstein is adorable!
emily: i liked what he said about IM!
his 8-year-old daughter IMs
AND she wants a cell phone.
emily: we have so much in common with David Edelstein's daughter. we all want him to use IM!
doree: it's true
maybe we should open an account for him?
emily: hee hee!!!
oh, fuck, I told alex i would stop saying that.
emily: I caught it from choire so it is kind of an affectation
It's like if i suddenly started being all
doree: yes yes
emily: so is there anything else interesting?
god, i tried to google her
doree: i was just going to say, let's google her
emily: in the memory of my google it looks like this
doree: OH GOD
doree: i found her?
she's under "mad construction"!
doree: this is like atoosa.com
emily: SHE AND ATOOSA MUST BE
emily: MYSPACE FRIENDS
doree: maybe jauretsi is going for the 20something demographic
and she's conceded teenagers to atoosa
emily: Yeah that is jauretsi's tribe
i wonder how old she is
emily: I would guess mid30s?
doree: oh yes
you are right
she is 35
emily: wow, I'm so good!
doree: you are.
emily: is it possible for anyone to have a more difficult name to spell?
emily: let's never write about her lest it become one of those terrible kuczynski zinczenko scenarios.
doree: omg, totally
what if she started dating zinczneko?
or however you spell it.
doree: their poor children.
did you go to the bathroom upstairs?
they had a shower.
emily: whoa! no, i missed that
emily: i bet there have been some crazy hijinx in there.
doree: totally. and, ew.
there was also a washer-dryer
emily: i kind of want to move in there!
emily: seriously! i mean yes, it's a little loud and packed with manhattan-only celebs letting their hair down
but you really can't beat the location
and that kitchen was pretty sweet.
emily: they also have a dishwasher! it's everything i have ever dreamed of
except that it's a restaurant
doree: hmm, right.
well, you could probably work around that.
emily: are we done here?
doree: i think so