94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

In this month's Creativity magazine, eleven of the coolest advertising creative directors you'll ever meet sat down for a "creatives roundtable" to creatively discuss the changing state of creativity and their changing creative roles within it. Eleven creative men wearing black-framed glasses and t-shirts and beards and skull caps. Eleven whites of the roundtable (wait, one Latino!) who get paid well north of six-figures to make pretty pictures and/or turn moderately clever phrases. Since I also happen to hold the title "creative director" (OK, associate creative director) I thought I'd don my black-framed Oliver Peoples glasses and take a virtual seat at the table.

I met a guy...who when he was 18 got a DUI, ended up going to the army instead of jail. Then he decided to design tattoos and did this documentary on this Christian rock band...He's never done an ad and I'm going to hire him.

—Mike Byrne, Anomaly

That's smart Mike. If your agency ever gets the chance to do work for Stryper, you guys'll hit it out the park!

Where does craftsmanship fit in? We still have to care about what we do.

—Jeremy Postaer, JWT/NY

Jeremy, I think "craftsmanship" fits in when you're, like, building some sort of craft and such? You and I make noise, bro, which any turd or newborn baby is capable of creating.

...Then I took a 2-year sabbatical, which I highly recommend. When I left, art directors were sort of the stars. Now, writing is very important again as websites have the potential to be stories that you have to write the hell out of...

—Jeremy Postaer, again.

What did you do for two years, Jere? Surf the world? "Write the hell out of" (I'm making air quotes) your forthcoming tell-all memoir about what a bunch of selfish douchebags ad guys are? Auggie Burroughs already shot his load all over that puppy. And, well, I got one in the works, too. What's your title? Mine's... I got a couple... Ad-Dick or Ad Nausea, something like that...

I think the riskiest thing they (clients) can do is not take risks.

—Leo Premutico, Saatchi&Saatchi/NY

FUCKIN' A, LEO! Like that hot shit you guys are doing for Ameriprise Financial? With Dennis Hopper and that fuckin' red chair? Client probably asked, 'What's with the chair?' You probably said something like 'you worry about the geezer's money, we'll worry about the fucking art direction.' Fucking stupid clients.

Creative Knights of the Roundtable are Indefatigable

Earlier: Svedka, Le Poire, Ketel One