Last time we checked in with Salon sage Cary Tennis, he was telling a writer who found her own writing crappy to keep on plugging at her MFA. Now he has some similarly astute advice for "Getting Nowhere," a woman who worries that she won't find a man "witty" enough to deserve to fertilize her eggs before they all dry up. Unfortunately, Getting Nowhere's last viable ovum probably withered before she finished reading Cary's long-winded response. "Keep in mind that basically you want a kid and you want some wit. You want some wit and you want a kid. Wit. Kid. Wit. Kid. That's gotta be doable somehow," says Tennis, eight paragraphs into his answer. And then, later: "I'm working fast today. I, too, am on deadline. Sometimes we cannot wait around for the perfect phrase—or the perfect man." Well, clearly!